my solace | kagehina

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Kageyama Tobio

He's mine, he's mine, he's mine.

He's finally, finally mine.

My airways feel as if they're going to cave from excitement. My heart is racing and it hurts terribly, but in the best way possible, and, oh, God my pants are so unbearably tight around my crotch.

I'm so excited to have him. My life will forever be content, now. Peaceful, soft, sweet, and filled with his sunshine and love.

"I'm so excited," I find myself muttering in the silence of my car. A soft laugh reverberates from the passenger seat.

"What for?"

"For you... To be with me. This is a dream."

I find myself leaning closer to the steering wheel, finding that the continuous road ahead of us is taking all too long to guide us to Shouyou's apartment. I'm free of that asylum (I won't say it's useless because I met Shouyou there, after all.) and I have the love of my life- The only love I've ever experienced- right in the palm of my hand.

We have to live at his place until his lease is up and he graduates with his master's in Autumn of this year. After that, well, we'll move in together in my home in the countryside, start a business, and fall ever so impossibly in love.

We'll be happy. I'll be happy. It's all I could ever want. It's all I'll ever need.

"Shouyou, will you date me if I promise to take care of you?"

"Doesn't dating mean you're going to take care of me anyway?"

"No, well, yes, but the way I take care of you is going to be different from everyone else's."

Shouyou shuffles closer to rest his elbow on the center console, then he rests his head in his palm. Those big doe eyes stare at me through his thick lashes, and his smile is entrancing and wide and beautiful.

He's gazing at me no longer as his patient but as someone more meaningful to him. I hold an important position in his life and I can see it clearly with the way he smiles at me.

"Like... How?"

"How?" I let my ringed fingers slip down the steering wheel as I imagined all that I could do for Shouyou- To Shouyou. How good I could make him feel, and, fuck, how much I could spoil him until he depended on me completely.

Shouyou's so naïve and soft-hearted. He's so easy to please, so easy to love and he gives love so easily. I have to watch out for him, I have to be the one to accept his overwhelming love, and he has to accept mine.

So, I started simply by telling him that.

"Affection," I tell him, "I'll spoil you with love, with sex and gifts. I'll give you anything you could ever want. Even your business."

"No, no, I want to start my business on my own, but, Tobio, you know... If we started dating, I wouldn't want to be spoiled like that. I'd just want your attention, that's more than enough."

"Really?"

He nods.

I'm not surprised. Shouyou's never been a materialistic person before, and as we exit the car, trek through the halls of the ground floor, and enter his apartment, I'm able to clarify that.

There are small house plants, nicknacks lying around, and the undeniable scent of a wax burner; vanilla-scented.

It's cozy and warm, and undeniably Shouyou.