Unpredictable| Javon Walton

6

KENNEDY
Hailey had told me she had seen Javon at the mall with a girl and I had a suspicion about who she could have been talking about and when I called him he said Jaden but my sister was at the mall so I asked her to find him and tell me who he was with and she sent me a picture of who he was with and the picture she took broke me not just because it was Andrea because it was of them walking side by side but the way he was looking down at her smiling as she looked up at him smiling as if they were laughing as the picture was being taken. I didn't try to make a big deal over it I just brushed it off but I went to the party and saw them together, coach had let us out of practice at 7 so I went home and quickly got dressed knowing Javon was going to be at the party and as I walked in going to the back where most people were I seen them and was leaned down talking to her most likely for she could hear him over the music then he took something from her and gave it to Peyton and then he put his arm around her and they were heading my way as I was watching them from the back door I ran up the stairs so they wouldn't notice me but I couldn't help but wanting to cry as they left out the door I headed out too because all I wanted to do was go home but I sat in my car for a bit crying for whatever reason I didn't even know why I was crying because we wasn't even together officially and he made that clear earlier and I was stupid for still thinking he even wanted me since she got here because him and everyone admired her. The boys, the girls they all liked Andrea, she walked by and they all wanted was her attention but it was only given to Javon and his was only on her as well.
I let my thoughts go and drove off heading home as I passed by the park because my house was in that direction when I saw Javons car and then I saw them and she had his jacket on and I knew it was his because he always wore the same black athletic zip up and that's when I knew I had lost him for good and that he actually liked her because I had Keaton ask him why he never gave me one of his hoodies and he said that you wouldn't catch him doing all that extra lovey dovey shit only for someone he saw his future with and it was Andrea, he saw himself with her and not me.
I got home and just sat in my room in silence thinking about everything and how I should have noticed it before how he rambled as he spoke to her, he could never get out a complete sentence without getting nervous around her. I stayed up all night not being able to sleep knowing that it was over between us I wasn't bitter about it, it made me feel free with myself knowing I didn't have that weight on my shoulder trying to keep him from others and he showed that he wasn't actually interested in everyone else I just wasn't the one he was interested in and he had to find the one and the one happened to be a girl from another state who will be leaving in a couple of days and I don't know if they will stay in contact or if he will try to come back to me but I was at peace with self and I wanted the best for him but away from me, if you would have told me yesterday I'd let go of Javon that easy I would tell you that your stupid but it was never love, I just liked the attention that he gave me that made me feel special even though I didn't realize he was giving me the bare minimum. I didn't live far from the track so I would walk there every day that I had time too and as I was walking I saw someone was there then another person pulled up and as I got closer I saw it was Javon and Andrea. I just stopped and watched as they started running and then he grabbed her and they were laying on the grass and I didn't even feel like going anymore I just turned around and walked back home. She didn't have to try for his attention and that's really what bothered me, I had to try and try. I should have known from the other day that it wasn't right when we kissed and I didn't feel anything, I didn't feel a spark or like a part of me was complete like most people did I just felt empty.
He had called me and asked why I had been not talking to him and I told him why and then I hung up but I tried calling him back later that day and he didn't pick up so I left a voicemail "hey I was just calling to say it wasn't you, you had nothing to do with me leaving. It was me I left for me there was nothing you could've done to made me stay there wasn't anyone else I just wanted to see you happy and I realized that, that wouldn't happen with me. I just wanted you to know I have nothing against you nor her and I hope everything works out between y'all and that she gives you the world and you do the same. I hung up after I finished the voicemail and it wasn't til later that night he had listened to it because he had texted me "thank you Kennedy and i hope the best for you and whoever you choose to make you happy and I'm sorry I couldn't give you everything you wanted, I just wanted different things and that was probably a reason we didn't work out but just know if you need anything you got my number" I read it feeling a warmth in my heart and with that I left it as that and now we were just a memory in each others life.