𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 | 𝐁.𝐄

𝟏𝟕

- 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕 -

i've re-recorded this same note fifteen times. i'm genuinely tired.

yet along, this not even the way i wanted it to be sung.

but no, i have to sing everything lightweight because im " too loud" for a woman's voice.

or, that's what it felt like was being told to me at least.

"go over that note again", the dirty blonde haired man rushed outta his mouth with a sigh before i could even finish.

" i've done this fifteen times anthony...what the fuck are you not getting from this shit!"

he took a deep breath as his elbow rested on the black tech booth. rubbing his hands down his face as if he's the one that has to hit a note several times that doesn't match his voice.

he frustratedly stated, " i wouldn't make you do this shit so many god damn times if you did it right.. like i said, tone your voice down!"

"nigga i told you several times i don't have a baby ass voice.. i've tried to do this shit fifteen times already! you obviously see there is no change in tone so what's the fucking point."

he paused, looking at me build up anger in my body. he announced, " i know what the point is..it's that maybe you aren't made for a music career milan. you won't give me the chance to make you a better artist, so leave!"

" what the fuck?! why would you say that knowing how hard i been working for this anthony...", i paused, tears of frustration and neglect started pouring down.

his demeanor changed as if he already knew what he was going to say next. i continued, "..anthony you make this shit so hard for me. i know making music can be frustrating or difficult at times, but you want me to change myself and sound for your fucking label!seriously, fuck you. i'm tired of dealing with this shit!"

after my announcement, i threw the headphones down, and the lyrics that were sitting on the mic stand everywhere.

lyrics that i had originally written, but was switched around by someone else anthony hired to rewrite.

i understand a little to a few lyrics being switched around.. but these didn't even sound like they were coming from me. what's worse, is it felt like it gave off a completely different meaning of what i was trying to message through my song.

as i slammed the door from the vocal booth, anthony got up out his seat. following behind me, he yelled, "your so fucking sensitive! milan get back in the fucking booth and just do it right. what you gotta be so difficult for?!"

walking in front of me, trying to block me off. he grabbed my waist tightly, to the point i couldn't move anymore. i felt as if my whole body was paralyzed. his hands giving my inner skin the impression that he was on a mission to collapse my hip bones.