Found home in you

6:FEELINGS

Zahil's pov:

I broke the kiss and pushed her away from me...
Her eyes showed pure confusion...
Why did she want to kiss me...
Even I don't know why I felt the urge to kiss her....

I have been ignoring her since yesterday because I feel something for her ......
I clearly know where this is going to and I need to put it a stop......

"Mehnaz leave."
I asked without looking at her....
She came forward me and look me in the eyes but I'm not able to look at her after what just happened....

"Look me in the eyes Mr Zahil"

"Mehnaz you better leave now and we will meet tomorrow"
With that I was about to go but she held my hand...
"Mr Zahil I don't know what's all these feelings but...."
I pulled out from her hold and left the office before she could complete her words ....

I took my car and i don't know why my heart was in pain and my mind was in anger....

My mind is again filling up with the memories of the person who made me lose trust in these beautiful feelings:
love and friendship....

I stopped at a place where I used to come whenever I felt loneliness inside me.... whenever I feel frustrated and angry....

I bought this house 2 years ago...
This house was the same one which have the memories of her....
SARAH
The person I hate the most....

I went inside the house but this time It felt different....
Even if I hate her..I feel some different feelings inside me...
This time when I came here my mind was not occupied by Sarah...

But it was completely filled with
MEHNAZ.....
HER VOICE,HER FACE,HER EYES,HER NOSE,HER LIPS,HER SMILE,HER HAIR...
THE WAY SHE CALLS MY NAME...
THE WAY SHE TASTED LIKE PURE HONEY...SO SWEET AND DELICATE......
THE WAY SHE TOUCHED ME TODAY....THE FEELINGS I FELT WHEN SHE WAS LAYING ON MY CHEST............THE FEELINGS OF OUR BODIES BEING CLOSE TO EACHOTHER...

I exactly know what these feelings are....I really genuinely care about her....but I'm scared to love...
I don't want to give her hopes that will hurt her....
I don't even believe in these feelings which is labelled as LOVE
If I want her to be happy,
I have to stay away from her...

I went to the bedroom and took out my diary....
I took it with me and went back to my car and was on my way back home....

At Khan Manzil(Zahil's house):

"Zahil beta(child) I was calling you since evening,why do you always come home late?"
Ammi asked me with worry ..
I just came inside silently and was on my way to my room
"Beta (child) have dinner...I can see you haven't ate anything and you are worried about something... whatever it is ammi's dua's are with you and surely Allah will ease your mind...don't worry my child"
Ammi's words meant a lot to me i hugged ammi
"Ammi I'm so tired ...."
"Come have dinner beta
I'll feed you with my hands ..."

I had dinner and mom fed me with her hands...
surely food tastes better when ammi feeds me with her hands......

After I finished dinner i asked..
"Ammi did bhabhi(sister in law)
Come back?"
"Yes and ami baby is with them..."
I nodded....

"Beta you have to go to Aysha's house tomorrow and we'll be staying there till the wedding...."
I nodded again....

"Amir came and took zaisha with him..they are enjoying their time at Aysha's house....
dadi(father's mom) asked when you will be coming ,Zahil"
Ammi sounded a little serious....

"I'll come..tomorrow with you guys.."
She nodded and smiled at me..
i left to my room with that and put the diary inside the drawer and layed on the bed to sleep......

Mehnaz pov:

..I have no idea why did I asked him if I could kiss him....
All these feelings are new to me since I haven't been in a relationship.....
I'm sad because he left me like that  after what happened...
"Idiot"
I muttered myself and went back to my desk...I couldn't focus on anything....

I left the office early because I didn't have much work since my boss was ignoring me...
tomorrow I will be going to Aysha ma'am's house to confirm the selection of wedding cards ....

I was on my way to catch the bus when I thought there is still some time so I can go and eat paav bhaaji which is my all time favourite food.... whenever I'm happy, sad, annoyed or whatever I go to Ramu kaka's shop to eat paav bhaaji....

I took the bus and when I reached my stop....I rushed to Ramu kaka's shop ...
"Ramu kaka one paav bhaaji and a strong black tea please"
"Mehnaz beti come in...when you got a job did you forgot us"
Ramu kaka questioned me...
"No even if I forgot the shop I can't forget your paav bhaaji"
I told him with a wide smile...
He also smiled at me and served my order....

I ate it wholeheartedly,
Thanked him ...
left there and reached home.....

"Mummaaa I'm back"
I ran and hugged mummaa....
"My sweetheart...go freshen up I'll serve dinner"
"No mumma I had paav bhaaji I'm full I'm going to my room tomorrow i have to visit the clients house...pray for me mummaaa good night"
I kissed her cheeks...and rushed to my room....

I layed on my bed....I closed my eyes and the memories of his lips smashing mine appeared....
I suddenly stood up ....my heart was pounding fast and my chest was going up and down......

I went to the balcony and stood there....the wind was cold and my hair was messed up due to it.....

My mind and heart was fully occupied by ZAHIL

The first time when he held my hand...the way he almost a killed a man who tried to attack me....
The way he hugged me...the way he looks at me...the way his hands feel around me...his eyes,his nose, his voice,the way he calls me mehnaz...
The way his lips felt on mine...the way he kissed me...

These feelings are new to me...
I haven't felt like this in my entire life.. for anyone...but him..

I know my heart has started beating for him...
Is it a starting of something beautiful and divine.........
Is this what people call LOVE?

I can't jump into conclusions suddenly....
This kiss meant very important to me...
Is he feeling the same...or did he regret it...
what if he regretted it and that's why he pushed me away .....

Well I will have to wait till fate shows me signs that he is the true one...

I stood there for some time with all these thoughts pooled up in my mind .....
I noticed pappa in the hall so I went there...

"Pappa you didn't sleep yet?"
I asked him...he was making tea...
"No beti...I wanted to drink tea..why didn't you sleep are you hungry...??"

I smiled at his care...my pappa always treat me like a princess and never do anything that makes me sad .....
"No pappa I was feeling bored that's why I came here"

I was about to leave to my room when pappa said
"My child you are my princess..
I know something is troubling you.... whatever it is if you can't handle it.. you have your mumma and pappa"
I looked back at pappa and gave him an assuring smile...
I went back to my room ..soon sleep took over me.....
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AN:
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