𝓓𝑶𝑹𝑶𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑨 , matt sturniolo

𝟎𝟐. you've been gone five years

two. you've been gone five years !
real life...

"THEA?" ALL MATT COULD POSSIBLY think about at that moment was how he felt the last time he saw her. the moment she took off to chicago and never thought about him twice, at least that's what he forced himself to think. that didn't mean it was the truth. dorothea thought of him constantly, and he was one of the first people she thought of when she decided to come back. maybe not in the way he would have hoped for, but she hadn't forgotten about everything that happened between them.

then before he could say anything more, she was out the door. leaving again. of course, all she ever did was leave. and he was tired of it. he decided to follow her outside, forgetting the fact that his father had asked him to hurry back with his bag of beef jerky. he really couldn't give two fucks about his father's food cravings at the moment.

"thea!" he called out her nickname once more, but she didn't turn around, she was on her way back to her house—old house, must he say. he still knew that way like the back of his hand. from all the times he picked her up and dropped her off. all the times he watched her sneak out, or the times he'd sneak in. and the few occasions he just sat on the porch with her grandma, waiting for the day dorothea came back. of course, dorothea wouldn't know about that part because she never came back, until now.

"dorothea, please." he pleaded, not caring if it made him seem desperate because that was the truth. he wanted to talk to her more than anything he could ever wish for. how could he let her go now when she was all he used to wish for?

"i'm not letting you—" he used his hand on her shoulder to spin her around to face him, causing him to be at a loss for words seeing how close he was to her. all he wanted was to grab her face and kiss her like those missing five years never happened. and for him, they almost didn't.

when dorothea turned around, her eyebrows were furrowed and she looked ultimately pissed, but something happened when she locked eyes with him for a second time. her face softened and he could have sworn that she looked almost happy to see him again. like a weight had been lifted off her shoulder.

"—leave again." his mind was clouded with how hurt he felt after she left. it made him think that it was easy for her to move on. move on from all they had.

"matt, i—" she was about to set a few things straight with him. like how just because she was back didn't mean they were back. even if her heart completely stopped at the sight of him, she couldn't do that to herself. after all, it had been five years and dorothea already tried to move on.

"i know you're gonna to tell me all about how you left for a reason, and how you moved on and everything but i really don't want to hear any of that. not now."

his words shocked dorothea because that was almost exactly what she was going to tell him. she left because she felt like she had to for her own sake, and in doing so, she unfortunately moved on. she found someone else in chicago who went by the name of dylan, and had built a two year long relationship with him. he was genuinely a great guy, but they broke up a few weeks ago, so that also made it a lot more difficult for dorothea to find the drive to talk to someone like matt right now. therefore, she couldn't find anything else to say, other than trying her best to conclude this conversation, "then there's nothing to talk about, is there?"

her constant lack of effort triggered something inside of matt. how could she get away with not giving two shits about him when he was stuck here still impossibly in love with her. now more so than ever. she couldn't get away with constantly acting like all of the things they went through had no effect on her whatsoever.

"you've been gone five years, thea. you haven't even tried to reach out to me. not a single call or text. and now that you're here in person, you just want to walk away, again." all the anger he tried to suppress over her leaving was starting to bubble up in his chest. he didn't think that she would be the one to get the heat from it. even though she was the one who caused most of it.

"what do you want me to say? that i regret leaving?" she almost laughed at the thought because, in her mind, moving to chicago was one of the best decisions she's made for her future. after thinking of all the things she accomplished so far, she was able to confidently say, "because i don't."

matt was baffled at the fact that she still didn't understand what he really wanted. he thought she knew him, and she did at one point. it was like he could hardly recognize her anymore.

"a simple 'sorry' maybe would be nice," he stated the obvious, then before he could filter anything else, the next words came rolling off his tongue, "but i don't know, that may be too much for your apathetic mind to worry about." he shrugged, never thinking he'd ever say those kinds of words to the girl who was standing in front of him. in fact, he never thought she'd ever stand in front of him again. and every time he imagined this moment, it never quite ended up going in this kind of direction. it hurt his heart that this was what they had become, and it all happened in the span of two minutes.

"i'm sorry." her apology sounded empty, apathetic, putting yet another crack in his heart. was she really not even sorry for leaving him behind? he suddenly felt stupid for thinking that they could even happen all these years later. what the fuck was he thinking? obviously, she would have changed, and her feelings for him just as well.

"meaning it would also be really helpful." his response was as cold as the shoulder he gave her when he turned around to enter the door he had chased her out of not even five minutes ago.

the words swirled around dorothea's head as she debated on going back home or trying to give talking to him another go. she would feel horrible if they left things off like this before she had to leave again. it would haunt her every day.

then again, this is what she wanted. to avoid contact with him as much as she possibly could. this was her chance to walk away and not get attached again, and she was sadly going to take it.

✰
nat's notes !

this one's obviously a little smaller lol
but i thought this ending was perfect for a chapter!
mostly bc i want what's going to happen next
be its own little chapter :)
also booo theaa and her stupid ideas 👎