All the things we wished we said

Chapter 7- Panic attack.

As the title suggests, this chapter depicts Angel having a panic attack, and drugs, though Angel doesn't take any, they are still mentioned. 

Angel walked into the hotel, which was way colder than usual, Husk was at the bar as usual, of course, it was late, which meant that the heat was turned down.

"We need to talk, Husk.."

Husk perked up
"What's up, legs?"

"Valentino.. He- he saw us.."

"So? What's he going to do?"

"Husk, you don't understand

He

Will

Kill

You"

"I'd like to see him try."
Angel sighed.

"Look. I like you, I do.. But we can't... Be together.."
Husk's face dropped from uncaring to concerned.

"Wait- wait can we talk about this?"
"I wish we could, Husk.. But-"

"Angel-"

"This- this isn't my choice-"
"It could be-"
"NO IT CAN'T HUSK! I WISH IT COULD BUT IT JUST CAN'T! I-I REALLY LIKE YOU BUT IT'S PUTTING BOTH OF US IN DANGER SO- it... it just.. can't."

Husk looked in shock, Angel only ever yelled at him once, and that was a mental breakdown.

"Angel-"
"No."
The porn star got up and went upstairs and slammed the door, the sound blared through Angel's head like a siren. He signed away his life. This was his fault. He signed "Anthony" He. did. This. This was his fault. These thoughts spiraled until he gave in.

He had been clean for a solid 6 months, but he just couldn't do this. He grabbed the baggie of Cocaine he had in his drawer and set it out on the table.

"You're doing so good!"

"Happy 6 months clean Angel! We're all so proud of you!"

"You will never amount to anything, Angel Cakes.."

"That fucking hotel will never work, you'll still always come back to me, Angel, baby."

Charlie's voice quickly turned into Val's as he stared down at the powder. Was he going to fuck up all his progress?

He was better than that. He was so angry at himself. He threw away his relationship with husk, he almost threw away all his progress. What was he going to throw out next? His life? He swiped the cocaine into the trash, he would usually consider this a waste of money but he didn't care.

"GODDAMN IT."

He threw one of his skincare bottles across the room, and it spilled across his grey carpeted floor, but he didn't care. He had other problems. Angel was spiraling, everything was going wrong. nothing was okay. He couldn't rely on anyone, Husk didn't love him, He had no reason to. He was lying because he felt bad for him. All of this was Angel's fault. He fell to his floor, hugged his knees, and sobbed. It was all he could do now. He couldn't get a hug from Husk, and why would Husk want to hug him? He was pathetic. He was alone.

He was alone

It took all Angel had not to tear up his entire room, he had more self-control than that. Maybe Charlie's lessons were alright after all.
This was the same feeling Angel had when he first landed in Hell. He JUST had it, he JUST found the person he needed.. a person who understood him, he got his hopes up, and they crumbled in his face. He was a fool to think this would ever work, of course, it didn't work, Val had eyes everywhere thanks to Vox. He hugged his legs tighter in an attempt to calm himself down, to no avail. His heart was beating a mile a minute with no sign of stopping.

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