Polarized

Tales of a Failed Bounty Hunter

Meanwhile, on the afternoon before Alexis's dorm party:

"Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear..."

Kai inhaled. He placed Juniper's birthday cake on the table, a chocolate cake with strawberry jam that had the words Happy Birthday, Juniper! printed out in red frosting on the top. Five red candles were stuck on the cake, each of them topped with a flame. Knowing what he'd have to say next, Kai sighed. But hey, whatever made his daughter happy.

"... Juniper, the fearsome overlord of the underworld..."

Juniper kicked her feet in her chair. "Yes, I am the big, scary, and evil ruler of the dead!" She shouted. "Mwahaha!"

Kai laughed. Then he continued singing.

"Happy birthday to you!"

Juniper looked up at Kai. "Are we gonna do the "are you one, are you two, are you three" chant?" She asked him.

Kai nodded. "If that's what you wish."

Juniper giggled and held up her plushie. Then Kai started chanting, and Juniper followed along with him:

"Are you one?!

Are you two?!

Are you three?!

Are you four?!"

At that point, Juniper was bouncing in her seat in anticipation.

"Are you five!"

"Yay! I'm five!" Juniper exclaimed, tossing her plushy aside on the table. Then she held up her plastic fork. "Can I eat cake now?"

Kai smiled. "No, silly, you have to blow out the candles first," he told her. "Make a wish!"

Juniper leaned forward and blew out the candles after a few attempts. Wisps of smoke trailed in the air from each of the candle wicks as soon as their flames went out.

"Did you make a wish?"

"Yes I did, but I can't tell you," Juniper replied. "Or else it won't come true."

Kai nodded. "Fair enough," he acknowledged. Then he removed the candles and began cutting up the cake.

"Daddy, can I eat the candles?" Juniper asked.

"No."

"But they look so tasty!"

"I assure you, they do not taste as good as they look."

"What does "assure" mean?"

Kai paused. "Well, it means to be confident in telling the truth," he explained. "So what I am saying is that I know for sure that the candles do not taste as good as they look."

"How do you know?" Juniper asked him. "Have you ate the candles yourself?"

"It's "have you eaten the candles yourself," not "ate," Kai corrected. "And well... I haven't. But I do know that candles do not taste good."

"But how? You haven't eaten them!"

"Candles are not meant to be eaten, silly."

Juniper crossed your arms. "You never know until you try!" She shot back at him. "You always tell me that when you try to make me eat yucky vegetables. Then I eat them, and they taste bad. And now you are telling me that candles taste bad when you haven't eaten them before. How do you know?"