Then I Wake

Chapter 2

Wooyoung

                                      Me: Bean, are you up?

Changbean: Yeah. How's Seonghwa?
                                   
                        Me: Pretty bad. Still in his room

Changbean: Chan was like that for Moonbin. He'll be fine soon.
                                    
                            Me: Wish I could believe that.

Changbean: Don't worry. Now go to sleep!

                  Changbean is offline.

I sigh and put my phone down. He's right, Seonghwa will be fine soon, I'm sure.

Oh dear, I should be making breakfast by now.

Forcing myself out of bed and into the kitchen, I see Yeosang and Yunho waiting for me already.

"Is... Everything ok?"

"Not really. Are the others awake?"

"Hongjoong and Jongho aren't. I'll get them."

I go back to our room and shake the others awake.

"Wake up sleepyheads. Yeosang and Yunho need to talk."

San and Mingi are with us when we return.

"Sit down. We have a problem." Yeosang says. "As we all know, Seonghwa is not handling the grief too well, but it's worse than we thought."

Yunho hands him a pill with a grey and blue capsule.

"He's been taking these pills, and we found a knife in his room. We're not sure what this pill is. San, could you take a look?"

San examines the pill. "I'm not certain, but considering his condition, I think he's taking SSRIs."

He's taking what?

We all stare at him blankly.

He sighs, "Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors."

Nope.

"Antidepressants."

Oh. Fair enough.

"Where did he get them from, then? He hasn't left the house!"

"It doesn't matter where he got them, he can't be taking them!"

Seonghwa

They know?

I stand at my door, slightly ajar, and watch their conversation.

I could really do with avoiding being confronted.

Closing my door, I sit on the floor of my room, knife in hand. I drag the knife swiftly over my wrist, leaving a thin, bleeding cut.

She went through this torture. I will too. For Taeyang.

It hurts, but I don't care. It's the only way to deal with losing her.

Unless...

I'll avoid them at any cost.

I grab the largest backpack I can find and stuff the essentials into it - toothbrush, a few spare clothes, water, a few energy bars, and money. My knife too, of course.

Just wait until they're asleep.

What they've forgotten is I'm the only one with a key to the room we keep the weapons in, apart from the spare under the floorboards.

When they're asleep, I'll get my gun and get out. Anywhere. Anywhere that isn't here.

All I can do now is wait. They've stopped talking now.

I cut myself again, the blade drawing blood on my arms and legs.

My vision goes black as I lie in a pool of my own blood.