Crimson Clover || A Loki Laufeyson Story

~ Prologue ~

Is it possible to say, that two stars can born from the same explosion, together, they are a system of gravitationally bonded stars orbiting a common center of mass, chaos, that is, and eventually forced by the inevitable destiny of time, already written from the very beginning of the starting point, they are being torn apart to either end of the universe so violently, far from each other, that one of them begins to lose its heat, just simply out of the absence of the other?

To this day, even after the Great War, the question remains unanswered.

The story began under the starry night sky of the galaxy, in the queen's chamber, when everything was still normal, no one seemed to be much worried about the uncertainty of the future. In other words, it was just as it was supposed to be.

Queen Frigga has been mentally unwell for days, mourning the recent loss of her son, Loki. Though she will not show it in her appearance, it is true that her maids would often catch her drifting off to the stars, and also quieter in special occasions. What the prince has done was unforgivable, yes, but much to her dismay, even though she never acknowledged it, she saw it coming. It was she who taught him to perform his first magic trick, she who told him again and again after his brother had gone out with the Allfather, leaving him behind, when he was feeling alone and unloved, that he was just as important as his brother, and he is going to accomplish great things someday, just in a different way, because he can do anything, as long as he set his heart to it. She told him to follow his heart, though he never listened.

He never did, but Frigga hopes he does. Someday, he will.

What Odin did was wrong, she knows it with the undying surge of guilt traveling inside her body. After so many centuries, she still recalls vividly the day Odin returned from the war in Jotunheim, with the smallest baby she had ever seen, so much smaller than Thor, who was soundly asleep in his chamber. She loved the baby the moment she had him in her arms, despite that it wasn't her who carried him in her womb, she loved him unconditionally, and she still does, and will continue to love him until the faith separates them apart.

Frigga remembers laughing through tears when she first saw his chuckle, perhaps it was inappropriate to say this, considering baby Thor who was lying back in his room, but it was the most heart-warming smile, charming, bewitching, even. It was much to her surprise that the son of the leader of Jotunheim could produce such a warm smile like that. She has missed it.

The time didn't last long. Since a young age, Loki has been a prudent kid compared to Thor's boldness, always calculating before he makes his next move. Yes, he is mischievous, he likes to mess around with people and runs off laughing, it is in his nature. However, Frigga has noticed he was always much more modest whenever Thor and Odin were around at the same time like he felt unimportant, nothing more than a stranger watching from afar, as though he has always sensed a sense of oddness between this family, even though he didn't know the truth, then, he knew there must be something "wrong" about him, and it is something in his blood that cannot get Odin's affection. He must have supposed it was because he wasn't the future king-to-be, and deep down, he hated himself for it. It broke Frigga's heart to see the hurt and envious look on Loki's face, though she internally dismissed it, refusing to believe the reality that was laid bare right before her eyes.

The queen has at some point argued with the Allfather that they shouldn't keep the boy from the truth when Loki was still in infancy, he is going to find out either way, and it will break his heart the longer they keep it from him. Although, it could have been worse, if you think about it. One of the ultimate lessons she has learned from the universe is that you can never know what would have happened, or what could have happened. It is dangerous to linger on the past, and she was doing exactly that. What happened to the way he reacted was predictable, and Frigga blamed herself more than anyone for not trying harder to protect him.

If there was anything that the queen could do to get it right again, she would do it without hesitation. Anything, to get her sweet baby back.

"The water is ready, Your Majesty." a soft voice echoed through Frigga's chamber from the other side of the room, pulling her back to reality

Frigga looked up to see her maid and considered for a minute or two, her mind racing fast like a storm. If it's going to be anyone, it has to be this girl.

She will not tolerate the mistake ever happening again.

"Ma'am?"

"Will you please come nearer, dear?" Frigga called gently and opened her bedside table's drawer, taking out a piece of parchment and a quill to write something down on it. "This is a rather serious matter, and do know that I would not be asking you this if I was not in such a desperate situation."

"How may I help you, Ma'am?" asked the girl with worry and curiosity written on her face.

"Go down to the dungeon, hand this," Frigga folded the parchment and placed it on the young girl's opened palm, "to the guard. With this, you are permitted to enter the dungeon where the prisoners are being held without any trouble. Please... check on Prince Loki for me. And just... talk with him. Will you do that?"

The girl blinked in surprise but nodded eventually, "Yes, of course I will, Your Majesty. Are there any messages you wish to deliver to the prince?"

Frigga hesitated for a moment. "Tell him... that I am sorry, and I have failed him. I do not expect his forgiveness, but I want him to know that I love him, no matter what happens, he is my son, and I believe in him."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Astrid?" the young maid's name escaped Frigga's lips just as she was halfway out the door. The queen had not said that name in years, it tasted both strange and familiar in her mouth. The girl- Astrid, turned around to face her again, surprised to hear the queen call her by her name.

"Can I trust you with this?" the queen asked with her eyebrows furrowed, Astrid had never seen Frigga in such a desperate and vulnerable state.

She was quiet for a while, "No one will hear a word about this matter from me." was the last thing Astrid said before leaving the room, heading straight for the dungeon with the piece of parchment clutched in her hand.