Lena Cross: Diary of a Sissy (Weekly)

II: Raúl

My heart was pounding a mile a minute. A flurry of makeup remover wipes and acetone-soaked cotton balls flew around my room in all directions as I tried to erase any trace of evidence from my body.

Ding dong.

Wig and dress off. I felt the cold floor under my bare feet as I put on the first pants and shirt I found. I stepped out and locked the room, sweating.

Ding dong.

I ran to the door but noticed I had no shoes on and my toenails were still painted. I cursed under my breath, ran back, but the door was locked. I had to grab a rod I used to unlock the door and get inside for a pair of shoes.

Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong.

Finally, I opened the door, breathing heavily. My heart still raced as I saw Pam and her cousin, a tall, blond man who clearly went to the gym. They were carrying a pizza and some beers.

"Why did it take you so long?" Pam asked in a reproachful tone.

"I was tidying up the house," I said, trying to sound casual as I ran a hand through my hair, noticing it was messy. "That's why you should give me more notice before coming over, but come in."

They set the things on the table, and the usual introductions were made. Raúl's father owned a shoe factory in their town, and now that Raúl was older, he was in charge of finding distributors and making deals to sell their products in other cities. After all, he had "people skills," as his father put it, an innate ability to get along well with others. And since Pam had talked so much about our city, he decided to start expanding this way.

And Raúl was certainly pleasant to talk to, at least as much as Pam. It was also very easy because they talked non-stop, and I just had to nod every now and then. They told me about their town, what their grandfather's house was like, where they both lived for a while, their pets, their neighbors, and all the mischief they got into together. At one point, Raúl asked about the bathroom.

"It's at the end, the door on the right," I said, and continued talking with Pam, but I saw out of the corner of my eye how, when he was in front of the two doors, my room and the bathroom, he grabbed the wrong handle. Luckily, I'm very cautious and had locked the... wait, the door started to open... THE DOOR STARTED TO OPEN!

My face changed color. I had locked the door... but had to unlock it when I went in for my shoes... AND I HADN'T LOCKED IT AGAIN! And now Raúl, stupid Raúl, who couldn't tell his right from his left, was about to see the dress, the heels, the wig, and all the evidence necessary to uncover my secret.

I jumped up from my chair and ran toward him, knocking some things off the table in the process. The door was only slightly open. Raúl turned to look at me because of the commotion I was making, and I took the opportunity to grab the handle, which he was still holding, and slammed it shut.

"Sorry," I said, blushing, letting go of the handle, and his hand, "this is my room... and it's a mess... I'm embarrassed. The bathroom is this other door."

"Oh, it's no big deal," Raúl said with a big smile. "Forgive me for the mistake," and he proceeded to open the correct door and enter the bathroom. I waited a few seconds, then made sure to lock my room properly.

"You're acting very weird today," Pam said when I returned to the table. She was cleaning up what I had knocked over.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say as I lowered my gaze and sat down.

The conversation continued more or less the same. I kept looking for signs to see if Raúl had seen anything, but he didn't say or hint at anything. The next day was Friday, and Pam had to work late. Somehow, she convinced me to accompany her cousin in the afternoon to show him around the city. Then, over the weekend, the three of us would go out together. She said she didn't want to leave him alone and that it wouldn't hurt me to go out too.

We said our goodbyes, and as I closed the door, I caught, just for a second, a strange spark in Raúl's eyes. It was surely my imagination. After all, he hadn't seen anything, right?