A deal of love || Benedict Bridgerton

1. Chapter

Some might say a woman will yearn for her home when she is away when one marries, But when ghosts haunt your house, how can one yearn it?

Colette always wondered if one day she would be happy to be back home at the Livington estate but the closer she got to her old home, the more she regretted that she decided to listen to her mother to enter back the marriage mart. She wasn't ready, not ready to be back in London nor to marry another man.

After the loss of her husband, Colette lost the light she used to radiate within her. She stopped smiling all together and only ever did when she had to.

Forcefully.

A feeling of guilt settled on her belly as the carriage came to a halt and the driver announced their arrival. She moved the curtain and looked out the window, her eyes scanned the house of her family.

How unlucky can a person be?

A fortnight after George was buried, Colette bled.

She lost their child and her only hope to stay in Scotland. The doctors blamed it on the stress she had endured with her husband's death.

Her eyes teared up as George occupied her thoughts again. She shook her head, blinking the tears away. She cannot be seen crying for her husband.

She would need to be strong now because being at the Livington estate is not easy. Having to look over your shoulder and at your words spoken is the utmost important priority when you are part of the Livington family.

Before she married and before her father died, Lady Colette loved this house.

She used to run around with her brother chasing her and when he caught her, he tickled her until she gave him back whatever she had stolen from him.

But that changed when their father, the duke died.

Since the death of the old duke and Colette finally married, Lady Colette had been scared to step foot into the Livington estate. To Colette it felt like the house was filled with ghosts that both suffocated and slowly killed her with each second spent in there. Ghosts that made her feel the angst and pain seeped into her bones.

Ghosts that haunted her with memories.

She missed Scotland. She missed the free feeling she had in Scotland. Running around the castle with no one to worry and without a worry that someone might shout at her. She was in her own home with her own rules.

She could be as loud as he wanted, except when George had a meeting, but otherwise she could. She spent most of her time with her nose in a book or drinking tea with Annabell.

With the quiet Scotland brought her, Colette discovered a passion in painting. She wasn't a great one but she loved mixing the colours and how they contrasted against the white canva and how she could unleash her creativity.

Colette had always loved the quiet. In a room filled with people she couldn't seem to get her thoughts together and always stumbled upon her words when she tried to talk. Which led to her family thinking she had been stupid.

Which she wasn't.

She had always been quite advanced in mathematics and her Latin when she was with her governess. She had always wanted to go to university but to her disappointment, Ladies are not allowed to attend.

The door to the carriage opened, and Colette's heart started to race. Her eyes kept scanning the ground, unsure if returning to society is the right decision.

After a year of mourning and correspondence with her mother, she finally had agreed to come back home for the season and look for a husband again as she remained unbaren in marriage with the earl.