S.W.A.T

S.W.A.T prologue

Zyra

Since I was a little kid my dad told me this. "You're good for nothing! Do you do anything right"

Getting compared with everyone.
Apparently i wasn't good enough.

This feeling that i was doing something wrong each time, he would yell at me for my grades,mistakes & my appearance.

He couldn't believe that i was his child. We had similar features,something that threw him off was my blonde hair.

I was 7 when he just screamed at me for shit. "YOUR SO USELESS! You don't get good fucking grades, you're sooo lazy, Are you even my FUCKING CHILD" he screamed in my face making me flinch.

He never hit but i was verbally abused. "You're just like your mom! You don't do shit!" He yelled.

I didn't know if i was supposed to answer. "ANSWER ME GOD DAMN IT"

"I-i-i didn't mean to get F d-dad" i stuttered. "Why can't you be like other kids!" This hit me hard.

"You'll probably become a Druggy just like your fucking mom!" He exclaimed. I felt numb.

Mom wasn't doing hard core drugs from what i was told & ironically he did drugs too.

Mom definitely got better. She said no to drugs & threw them out.

But was my dad right? Yes,he was. Because i never felt the love or acceptance of anyone.

I would be left in the house alone for days. Basically raised myself, i knew how to do pretty much everything.

The thing is, mom wasn't doing it on purpose. Mom actually had a job she worked night shift & my dad day ones.

So no one was really at home, except mini me. Mom loved me very much.

She wasn't the problem,dad was. She would apologize for not being here & tried to make time for me.

But i still felt the feeling of absence,abandonment.

That time at 15-14 i had bad friends. It was probably like the only shit i had. Drugs became an attachment.

Feeling not self worthy was a feeling i tried to escape, so i turned to drugs. That shit didn't make me feel anything. I couldn't feel what i was missing

I became addicted. One night i had this intense feeling to escape reality,those words that i kept hearing. "Your good for nothing your useless"

"Where are they!" I mumbled as i felt the feeling to escape reality.

My room was upside down. Tears were running down my face as i frantically tried to find them.

"Where are my pills" i stammered. "i need them!", I searched for them in my drawer,closet everywhere.

They weren't there, "your useless!" I heard. "You're such a failure!" It screamed.

Pacing around the room biting my nails with tears who wouldn't stop running.

"Where are my pills bro" i screamed. "I need them" i cried.