It was quite during the first few hours my fireteam and I felt that sickening moment, the moment the final shape was almost completed, Jill threw up when we were freed, being split apart like that, it felt cold, it was like we frantically tried to stop it, with then carving at us like butchers, with the precision of a surgeon who didn't care about how much we fought back, carving away what it saw as unnecessary excess until it reached the center of our being, and right before it was going to make a Final Cut, we were freed, like we died and were resurrected again, when everyone was looking over themselves I think there was a few, not just me who looked at the sky, at the traveler horrified by the fact that we almost lost.
I sat in the cargo bay of my ship, kinda odd how I pretty much had a whole shift in my view of life when we had been hit by the final shape but everyone knew there wasn't time to worry about it, I watched as 4 jump ships went in, I watched as the fleet fought its way in, I watch from the back of a battlefield as the witness exploded into a tree, I watched the little lights go into the sky, dancing with the darkness of the night and my mind wondered. why didn't I do my part? Why did I let others fight for me? Was I a coward? Was I truly chosen by the traveler to watch others fight a battle for me? I spent so much time following orders not thinking for myself that I forgot the desire for a fight, the ambition to face stronger challenges
It wasn't long for Liz to find me a hunter who knew each of us like she knew her own ship, she has a very interesting way of speaking a cold but often kind way " is a titan going to sit there all day or join the celebrations?" I gave her a look my helmet hissed as I removed it "I then sitting here is my desire tonight Liz, I'm not expecting in the mood to indulge in festivities anymore" I would look at my helmet before she snatched it from me "so one of the great titans is just gonna sit and sulk that he wasn't there to fight the witness up close, didn't sign up to go into the pale heart, didn't gain that new power THE guardian has now?" She'd set my helmet down before pulling up a crate "yes we weren't apart of it but the least you could do is actually part take in the memory of the dead, Havi" she stood up and stepped out pointing at the Sky I watched her as she would look at me "we all felt that moment but we are here, we have each other and the universe, the literal universe is kept from being a play thing" she would turn throwing one of her knives into my chest plate, not enough force to piece but enough to get the message through " you can sit here all day and sulk about it or you can get up and show you're fire team that they mean something to you, in the end you choose how you see it, not us" she would turn and leave, for a moment I considered staying there I considered that I would bother them, but I got up and joined her in the walk
