Florida Man: The Prequels

Chapter -4: The Evilton Camp

Once upon a time, Mr. Evilton gave birth to Florida Man, who was named Chadius Genghis Jimothy Evilton. Florida Man scraped across the pavement, bleeding everywhere. Florida Man instantly as a baby, stood up and vomited in Mr Evilton's face for half an hour.

As he grew up, he continued to throw up in Mr. Evilton's face once every year on the exact anniversary date.

When he was 12, he was sent to the Evilton camps. While there, he met another kid named Chad Bumpkins. Chad and Florida Man quickly became friends and soon enough devised a plan to escape together. As a duo, they charged to the gates, but were stopped by some guards.

Florida Man chuckled, and so did Chad. The two of them pulled dead squirrels out of their mouths. They began to swing them around at light speed. The guards were quickly chopped to pieces and both FM and Chad ran through the gates.

A tank stopped in front of the 2 of them and aimed at them. Florida Man and Chad split up, and the guy in the tank was dumb and confused. Then both of them jumped into the air and did a backflip mid air on each side. Their heads collided in the air above the tank and they both threw monster energy cans they summoned from nowhere at the tank which somehow existed in the roman empire. The tank exploded and the both of them landed and ran.

Chad and Florida Man stood around in a shack inside the woods. They spoke amongst themselves for a moment, considering their options.

Chad: "Chadius, what're we going to do?"

FM: "I suggest we go back and free everyone else."

Chad: "But Chadius, we just got out! If we go back and we fail- who knows-"

FM: "Don't even. We're going back and that is final."

And so, the two were set to return to the camp. However before they could further scheme, the audible sound of impending, storming marches echoed through the wooded space, ricocheting off the trees as the sounds of small animals squealing and fleeing accompanied them. Chad peeked his head through the window and saw an army of robotic outhouses with lanky, metallic shiny arms and legs. The feet of the outhouses slam and stab into the dirt below, creating an audible industrial thud which with each step sends more shivers down the spines of their enemies. In the arms of the outhouses they hold weapons of mass destruction, each sword forged and melted from nights of effort and anger.

MORE!!!!!!!! Below.

Back to Florida Man and Chad, they watch on, their eyes widened with horror and the urge to flee. Their hands tremble with the regrets of their actions. Sweat finds itself trickling down their faces, their eyes set on the impending army. Will they surrender themselves or fight for what's right? If they surrender will they suffer for their deeds or will they have mercy shown? All of these thoughts and possibilities find themselves quickly rushing through the minds of the two.

The army suddenly stops its march, the booming industrial wrath which they had thought would soon slaughter them both seemed to have ceased. Silence now finds itself quickly enveloping the forest, the army standing like titanium statues.

A sound piercing the silence soon sends sharp shock within the hearts of our duo. A booming cybernetic voice shouts from all around them. This scenario certainly mirrors the events of another universe. Odd.

"CHADIUS. You have made a fatal mistake leaving the camps. Those guards you slaughtered with zero mercy had families. I will give you one chance to repent of your sins."

Florida Man confidently and triumphantly refused the voice's offer of forgiveness. "FUCK NO!" Florida Man now snickered childishly.

"Your move" the voice boomed.