An Assassin's Adventure: Hot Spring Paradise

Part 2

Back at the hot spring paradise, Hit stood behind the group of male adventurers. The depressed beings were staring at Ryuu, who was guarding the entryway into the women's changing area: somewhere they would very much like to be.

Hermes stuck up a finger and chuckled to himself. "We're missing out on a treat here, guys! I bet they're having a little share and compare beauty contest right about now... Wanna know the deets?"

Ouka and Welf's faces somehow gained shadowy borders and heightened definition as they homed in on the god. The two hot-blooded men surrounded the deity, eager to hear his divine wisdom.

Bell blushed, yet something stopped him from missing out on the potentially life-changing words. 'Dammit Grampa; why did you have to tell me all those weird stories!!!'

Hit was especially dour and had just about given up on this world's future. Whether he liked it or not, this pathetic creature was a God, a being entrusted with the universe's fate. 'This cannot be real... What purpose do these creatures even serve? They're all jesters and perverts...'

Hermes' closed eyes peeped open as he divulged his forbidden knowledge. "First, there's Lili. The girl's seemingly innocent and petite, but she's managed to survive the cruel dungeon and harsh upbringing, which would require a well-honed svelte body, bursting with potential..."

Bell blushed as images of Lili's naked form swam through his mind; it did not help that he had seen glimpses of it the day before.

Hermes continued to lecture the wayward mortals. "...Then there's Mikoto's bodacious curves, contrasting with her demure and serious attitude; and the lovely Chigusa who's exposing that dainty frame of hers to the glistening waters of the dungeon. Right. Now..."

Ouka's face blazed red at the mention of his colleagues, steam somehow emanating from his entire body.

The God was not done. "Oh! And my lovely loyal Asfi! A treasure to the eyes; she's so strict, always telling me what to do... I like it! Now, Hestia's the biggest prize of all! Heaven's most prominent bosom. Just think, those beauties are just around the corner, their hot bodies ripe in the crisp dungeon air..."

The men were all on their hands and knees at this point in the story: Hermes' divine knowledge was far too much for their mortal frames to bear! Welf hyperventilated as he nearly collapsed under his urges, whilst Ouka's muscular body glowed in a deep pink hue. Bell's albino faced blushed red as he stammered, humming to keep Hermes' tempting words away. 'Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!!! Just think about Ais! No, wait... That'll make it worse!!!'

Ryuu's degrading gaze hammered down onto Hermes, who likely enjoyed the treatment since he grinned and continued. "I'll let you guys in on some extra juicy secrets about the best spying spots when we're all alone... For now, let me tell you about the rest of my favourite gals! Goddess Demeter has plump, juicy, soft fruits ripe for the picking... Just the thought of them can drive a man insane! Then there's Airmid, a pure maiden with a massive..."

'Oh, for Zeno's sake JUST SHUT UP!' Hit was finally at his limit and decided to adopt a different strategy. 'Time to scare them straight.' A murderous face peeped into the circle of perverts, as Hit bent down to join them. The four men's hearts froze in terror as the world seemed to lose its colour.

"I have a story regarding courtship rituals as well. In the fire region of COROT-7b, female inhabitants choose their partners via a test of pain tolerance, one that the men have no say in. Piercings; broken bones; organ removal; degloving: nothing is off limits. Their potential partner's body may regenerate, but the creatures still experience pain. The most unfortunate subjects have their spines slowly ripped from their bodies by those with the highest standards. It is quite interesting really, watching as their nervous system collapses once the neurons are gradually torn away. Their still living carcasses rhythmically contract and scream as the intricate process takes its course. You provide a rare opportunity, Hermes, as I am unaware whether the Gods here possess internal organs. Based on your actions so far, you are spineless. Let's see whether that is indeed the case by re-enacting the process."