Serendipity

chapter 7

Isabella didn't sleep much that night. She had no idea what she would do the next morning. She couldn't exactly call in sick on her third day, but the thought of seeing Emily made her stomach churn. She couldn't understand why she was feeling so apprehensive, she had dreamt of meeting her birth mother since she was a little girl. She had a very happy childhood, she was loved and cared for, and her parents were the nicest people on the planet. She had only wanted to meet her birth mother to tell her that she was okay, that she had made a good decision when she left her. She wanted the woman to know that she was grateful for the sacrifice. Now, being faced with the reality, she was scared out of her mind. She wasn't scared often, but that had her petrified. She almost wished that she could just forget; that they could just go on as if none of it ever happened. Only almost. She would have to talk to Emily, she couldn't very well avoid her for eternity. At 4am, she gave up on trying to sleep. She went for a run to clear her head, it didn't work.
She walked into the office of the BAU at 6:30am. She put her bag on her desk, sat down in her chair heavily, and banged her head on the table. She regretted it instantly, the spot on her forehead where she had run into the bathroom door in Albany was still tender. Fuck. She started working on her reports, that would take her mind off what she was going to have to do in an hour. Spencer showed up 15 minutes later, followed closely by Garcia. "Morning, Kitten!" the techy chirped. Spencer smiled in greeting. "How was your first trip with the team?" Garcia enquired, Isabella pushed all her personal problems as far down as she possibly could, and smiled at the friendly face. "It was interesting, to say the least." "I love my little computer cocoon, the horrors you guys face are too much for me." Garcia shivered slightly, "I don't know how you do it." "I don't know how we do it, either." Isabella admitted. The conversation was interrupted by the elevator, and then the voices of Morgan, JJ, and Emily. Isabella took a deep breath, her time for pretending was over. Morgan greeted her with a pat on the back, JJ asked how she slept, and Emily gave her an awkward smile. She realised JJ must have told her about their conversation. That should make it a bit easier. She would have to wait for a chance to get Emily alone. Asking her for a private conversation right then would certainly be conspicuous, and she had no intention of sharing their personal business with the whole team just yet.
They had sat doing reports all morning, there were no new cases for them, and Hotch had said they could leave when the paperwork was done. He would call them if they were needed. Isabella wasn't sure if she should ask to speak to Emily after they left, or if she should do it before. Emily had barely said two words to her the whole day, and she didn't know what to make of it. Spencer, Morgan, and Rossi finished their reports much quicker than Isabella and Emily. They were obviously a whole lot more focused. Once they had left, the tension in the bullpen became almost too much, Isabella felt like she was having trouble breathing. She was about to say something when Emily got up from her desk almost aggressively, threw a "Goodbye" over her shoulder, and was out of the office before Isabella had a chance to realise what was happening. So we're not doing this then. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, obviously Emily didn't feel like she had while writing her letter. It felt like a hot poker was being pushed through her heart. A strangled sob escaped her throat despite her protests, and with it went her resolve. She tried in vain to finish her report, but she couldn't see through the tears and she couldn't think through the pain. Her mental picture of the loving 15 year old girl who had just wanted the best for her had been shattered, along with her heart.
JJ came out of her office a few minutes after Emily had left, although it felt like hours. "Isabella? What happened? Where's Emily?" she was instantly concerned. Isabella tried answering her, but the only thing she got out were more sobs. JJ all but picked her up and dragged the sobbing woman to her office.
JJ had been on her way to the bathroom when she came across the crying agent in the bullpen. Emily was nowhere to be found, her computer had been shut down, and her bag was absent from her desk. She took Isabella around her shoulders and guided her to her office. She couldn't let Hotch see her like this, or anyone else for that matter. Isabella couldn't get a word out through her cries, and JJ didn't really know what to do. If Isabella was this upset, Emily must have been a wreck too, and she had to get to her girlfriend. She called the only person she could think of to help.
Penelope Garcia was still in the building when JJ called. JJ was beyond thankful that she was willing to help, no questions asked for the time being. Isabella had gone silent, tears still running down her face in excess, but she made no sounds. JJ found it disconcerting. She led the woman down to the IT department, and into Penelope's office. Garcia said nothing, only wrapped Isabella in a bone crushing hug. JJ put her hand on Isabella's shoulder, "Pen's going to take care of you, okay. It's going to be okay." She thanked Penelope as she hurried out of the door. She dialled Emily's number on the way; it went straight to voicemail.
JJ let herself into Emily's apartment 40 minutes later, she found Emily on the kitchen floor, three quarters of the way into a bottle of scotch. "Em?" "Jennifer!" Emily said way too loudly, she was well past drunk and JJ thanked anyone who was listening that it was Friday, and they would not have to work the weekend. "Did you know, I'm a horrible person?" Emily slurred, she tipped her empty glass into her mouth, then glared at it disapprovingly when nothing came out. JJ was surprised Emily was still using a glass and not just chugging straight from the bottle. Emily reached for the almost empty bottle, but JJ picked it up from the floor, and placed it out of reach. Emily pouted at her. "Noooo." She had tried to get up, but only succeeded in falling down on top of JJ. JJ sighed, she knew she was not going to be having any sort of productive conversation with the drunk agent who seemed to have forgotten all about her journey to the alcohol, and had taken to nuzzling JJ's chest.
It took way too long to coax the woman off of her chest, and then up from the kitchen floor. "Come on baby, let's go take a shower." She had her arm around Emily's waist, keeping her from tipping over, she guided the woman through the apartment, turning off lights as they went. She'd have to shower with Emily, leaving an intoxicated person anywhere near large amounts of water was never a good idea, and had Emily not been sitting on the floor in her work clothes, looking like a street rat, JJ might have just put her straight to bed. Getting drunk Emily out of her clothes, and into the shower was nearly impossible. She was the most uncooperative person JJ knew, it took her 15 minutes to get her undressed. She couldn't keep her hands to herself, and she petulantly stomped her foot when JJ refused to remove her own shirt first. JJ helped her into the shower, and she promptly sank down to the floor, rapidly blinking as the water ran over her face. JJ thought for a moment Emily looked like a lost puppy in the rain. JJ's heart ached. She stripped her own clothes in seconds, and stepped into the water. "You're so pretty." Emily sang, JJ shook her head. "Let's get you clean, so we can go to bed." "You look like an angel. Are you an angel?" Emily looked at her like she had hung the moon and stars. 'Yes Emmy, I'm your angel. Now let me help you." JJ was having trouble manoeuvring the loopy woman so she could wash her, Emily wouldn't stop touching her. "My angel? I don't deserve an angel, I'm a bad person." "You're not a bad person, baby. You're drunk. Very very drunk." JJ would have found it endearing if the circumstances weren't so horrible.
JJ was washing Emily's hair, trying her hardest to not get shampoo in the woman's eyes. Emily had no such worry. "That…" Emily said, pointing a finger in JJ's general direction, "Is ireve…ivere…ivrelenant…" "Irrelevant?" JJ supplied, "Yes! That." Emily gave a sharp nod, and JJ couldn't help but laugh. Once she had rinsed the woman, she struggled to get her out of the shower. This is what she imagined wrangling a toddler would be like; an Emily sized toddler. In the end, it took a bribe of three kisses, letting Emily touch her butt, and the promise of no pj's in bed to get Emily to somewhat cooperate. She towel dried Emily's hair, and tucked her into bed. Emily fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. Thank God. JJ kissed her atop her head, "I love you. It's going to be okay." she whispered, before turning off the lights and climbing into bed behind Emily. JJ didn't know how any of them were going to handle the situation going forward. She sent a quick text to Garcia to check in on Isabella; Penelope was a real angel, JJ knew she could count on the colourful girl for any and everything. She'd have to explain all of this to her friend in the morning, but she was beyond thankful for her help. She couldn't begin to imagine what the two women were going through, she just hoped she and Garcia would be able to help them.