Shattering My Soul

00 - Set Me Free

       00 - Set Me Free                                                               

   Chase's POV;

606 Words

Chapter Song- Set Me Free By Drama Kashmir

God. The ultimate, all knowing being. Everyone knows who He is and what He stands for, but not everyone believes in Him. As a child, I could hardly understand how someone couldn't believe in Him. Another thing I was taught was that not believing was as simple as this: You'd burn in Hell for eternity if you didn't. God terrified me, but wasn't that was he was supposed to do? I later realized that that was in fact not what kind of figure he should be in my life.

So... what is religion? My description of it is believing, worshipping, or idolizing a being/beings greater than the ones that surround us. Religion was all I knew growing up. We went to church, prayed 10 times a day, including at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We thanked God morning and night for every blessing that arose in our life without a second of hesitation. And, most of all, we never doubted Him and His powers.

To say the least, this constant worshipping of something we had no proof was real was suffocating. It controlled my every thought, action, and word. I couldn't say or do anything without thinking, "What would Jesus do?"

My only escape from this constant pestering was my beloved journal. It was the only way I could truly express all my thoughts, though minimal at such a young age. The older I got, the more complex my understanding of everything got, along with my resentment towards religion as a whole. Even at a young age, I tended to stay to myself and enjoyed reading more than interacting with kids my age. The only constants I had in my life were God, books, Grandma, and my best friend, Liam.

Liam and I were polar opposites. He was an outgoing young boy, who enjoyed talking and exploring unknown places. He was always getting us into trouble, no matter the occasion. But, even though us hanging out led to nothing but light hearted trouble, he was my favorite person in the world. I'd grown to cherish him more than even my own parents. He was the one person I cared about more than Grandma.

Grandma was 57 at the time of my birth, but my grandfather passed shortly after this occurrence. She was left absolutely devastated with no light in her life except her grandbaby, me. This evidently led us to grow very close, very fast. Even from a young age, I could tell she was different from my parents. Yes, they all loved me dearly, but there was something about Grandma that just made me feel so safe and not judged. It felt like I could tell her anything in the world, which I did. She was the one who even gave me the idea to start writing in a journal. My parents bought it for me, albeit reluctantly, and I immediately spilled what I was thinking onto the pages. Soon, it was all filled up, and I had to discreetly ask Grandma for a new one.

Homosexuality is defined as 'sexual interest in and attraction to members of one's own sex.' It was something no one dared speak of in my household. All I knew was that it was a horrible sin, and anyone who indulged in it would go to Hell, no questions asked. I had never met someone identifying as this, and for that reason I never thought I'd even start questioning if I was one.

Liam and I had a special bond, but soon my mind and heart started blurring the line between friendliness and romanticism. At first it horrified me, but I soon realized he'd be the one to set me free from the oppression right before my eyes.