Out of Our Hands

January 1st

After the clock hit zero, everyone celebrated. But not Tanner Richards. Everyone embraced their significant other. But not Tanner Richards. Sondra wondered why her son hadn't invited his girlfriend over. He told his mother that Chloee was celebrating the night with her family. There was no problem with that, but what worried Sondra was the fact that Tanner had said that Chloee would be at their celebration a week ago. Something must have happened. Sondra approached Tanner for a hug. He hugged back awkwardly.

Tanner is in his first year of college. He is not enjoying it. He was a great athlete in high school. His main sport was football. As athletic as he was, he didn't have the qualities of a D1 or D2 athlete. However, he was able to continue his dream of playing football at a D3 college 30 minutes down the road. But the college season was over and it had gone terribly. Obion College in Ohio is a private liberal arts college known for being quite prestigious. Tanner didn't go there just for the athletics, but also for the doors that a degree from Obion opened. While Tanner truly loved football, a lot of his teammates had never played before and walked on to the team. Athletics in general took a backseat at Obion. The culture on the team was terrible. Tanner thought that his high school team was more serious and better than his college team. There were constant fights on the team. Some players weren't willing to take criticism from the coaches and acted childishly. One member of the team even left in the middle of a practice after being yelled at. Tanner soon realized he didn't want any part of the team. However Sondra and Dean told him to commit for the whole season. If he didn't like it by the end, then he could stop playing.

Tanner's roommate was a complete slob. Aden had reached out to Tanner the summer before they arrived at Obion. Aden seemed like a nice guy to Tanner, so he agreed to be his roommate. Tanner didn't really care about who his roommate was going to be, he just wanted to get the process over with. Plus Aden also played football. Tanner thought that they could both keep each other accountable for early morning lifts. But now he was really wishing he took the process more seriously. To Tanner's surprise, there was little to no one from Obion that was actually from Ohio. The majority of the student body was from the west coast, most notably California. Aden was one of these students from California. To Tanner, Aden represented the stereotypical Californian: stuck up, rude, living in their own world. Tanner was sure that not every Californian was like this, but Aden was a rough introduction. 

Tanner came into his dorm once to the scene of Aden having a yelling match with his mother on the phone. Tanner ignored the conversation and went to put his earbuds in. 

"Bro, I am so annoyed." Aden cried.

Tanner pretended not to hear him. This was the usual routine, Tanner would be working at his desk while Aden would spit some nonsense.

"Bro, Tanner!" 

"What?"

"I'm so pissed with my mom."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yeah man. Since we have a bye week during fall break I was going to go home and have a party. I planned to have it on my boat. But now my mom is planning some family hang out at the boat on the same day!"

"That sounds like a real struggle man."

This was just one example of the many ways Aden drove Tanner crazy. The kid annoyed Tanner so much that he was celebrating the drop of the ball at New Years by recalling all the ways that Aden bothered him. 

Even though Aden's parents lived in California, they would still fly to every Ohio every Saturday for the game. After the game, Aden's parents, and Aden's little brother would wait outside the locker room for him. Aden always took forever getting out. When he finally came out, he'd hug his parents miserably. He did the bare minimum to acknowledge them. Tanner always wanted to punch him right in the nose. His parents were literally flying out every Saturday just to watch Aden sit on the bench. The least he could do was give them a serious hug. His parents always asked him out to dinner or came up with some fun activity for the family. And every time Aden would respond that he was going to a party and would be busy. Tanner blamed the parents for letting Aden become such a bum. They treated him like a baby, doing anything he wanted. Tanner truly believed that Aden was never yelled at or disciplined as a child. 

Tanner never did share his opinions with Aden. And while Tanner always complained to his parents about Aden leaving the room a mess, he never told Aden himself to clean it up. Aden himself thought that he and Tanner were best friends. Tanner used this to his advantage, after all Aden was good for two important things: getting alcohol and bringing girls back to the dorm. Since Aden's parents were practically his servants, if he asked for alcohol, they would rush to the store and get it for him. Aden was always stocked up on drinks and would always offer them to Tanner. 

But more often than not, Tanner would ride home with his parents on Saturday. He didn't get the itch to go out and party. After all going 0-10 for the season and losing every game by 20+ points didn't really get Tanner in the party mood. But when he did rarely stay on campus during a Saturday night, he would drink until he passed out. He didn't go to parties to socialize, he went to forget about the beat down his team suffered. Tanner started to drink during the week too after practices. Tanner would never drink in high school. It was a rare sight to even see him drinking a Pepsi. Tanner was a different man at college than he was at home, and his family had no idea. Part of the reason he loved to come home so much was so that he could feel more like himself. 

But to Dean and Sondra, they saw their son's coming home as him missing out on the college experience. They loved their son, but they were beginning to feel that they were responsible for Tanner not enjoying his first year of college. Dean and Sondra agreed that Tanner's time at home had to be limited. The best time to communicate these feelings to Tanner would be New Years.

The Richards family has a tradition after the ball drops. Instead of everyone going around and saying their New Years resolutions, the family members assign each other resolutions. Tanner's siblings, Lincoln and Bailey were assigned each other for resolutions. Dean and Sondra counted as one and were assigned to give Tanner his resolution. The family sat around the kitchen table. Lincoln and Bailey exchanged resolutions, then the floor was Dean and Sondra's.

"Tanner we challenge you to not come home for the rest of the school year." Sondra said softly. 

"What?" Tanner responded confused. 

"Obviously this is still your home and you are always welcome here. If there's an emergency or a family event then come home. But if there is nothing going on, then we think it would be best if you stayed on campus."

"Did I do something wrong."

"No, not at all."

"We just all think it would be best if you immersed yourself more on campus. It may help improve your attitude about this year." Dean added. 

Tanner sat in silence. There was so much more he wanted to tell them. So much more had happened, and he was sure the rest of the year would take a toll on him. But, he wanted to make his parents happy. He was never the type to argue with them. He always knew they had his best interest in mind. 

"Okay. Deal." Tanner said quietly. 

"We also think it would be a good idea to start a diary." Tanner's mom continued. 

"A diary?"

"Or a journal, whatever you want to call it. Just take some type of notebook and write down what you do in a day. It'll be something fun to look back on when the school year is finished with. Plus think if you have kids one day, they'll be able to read about what you were doing in college."

Tanner nodded his head. The diary idea honestly didn't seem that bad. However, there was so much that had happened and would continue to happen that he didn't feel comfortable writing down. But Tanner did think that the writing would be a good tool overall. He was never one for openly communicating his feelings. He liked to keep everything to himself. Writing in a journal would offer a way for him to describe how he felt or his thoughts on certain things without having to tell another person. 

The Richards finished their New Years activities. Tanner was ready to fully appreciate the rest of winter break. When break was over, Tanner was going back to college. Back to classes, back to his messy dorm, back to Aden. May couldn't come soon enough.