I don't understand how you can love someone who broke your heart
Someone who deceived you, who told you nothing about their feelings, who went along with everything
I don't understand how you can still stay with me despite it all
Someone who said they weren't comfortable with it all, but pushed just to make you happy
I understand doing all of it for months just to be told it made them uncomfortable for so long
I would be heartbroken
I don't know how you felt whenever I told you, I want to know but I don't want to push
You're my love, my counterpart, my teammate
I did the only thing I said I wouldn't do
Hide things from you
And I still did
Till it got too much and it spilt out
How can you still talk to me?
How can you still say that you love me?
How can you still show me affection?
To someone who caused you unbearable amounts of pain
I'm scared to mess things up but I already understand why they happen
You break up with me? I caused it.
You argue with me? I caused it.
You block me? I caused it.
We fight? I caused it.
I take full responsibility for what happened and I'm sorry
Huh, saying sorry so many times doesn't have the same effect it did anymore
It's all I can respond with
I said you could do anything and yet you still stayed with me
I can't tell anymore
All these things anymore
I saw you as an open book
I don't know how you saw me
I saw you close up and shut down
You saw me give a piece of how I felt
Straight from the pages inside
I don't know if you wrote that down and kept it inside you
You used to be an open book
I saw so many things in you
Your potential
Your love
Your life
Caring
Masculine
Love
A lot of things
I don't know what you saw in me and what caused you to choose me
I don't know what you saw in me and what caused you to stay with me
I don't know what you saw in me and what caused you to still love me
Burnt up pages
Cut pages
Bleeding pages
Missing pages
Ripped pages
Story ends halfway abruptly
The book had been through so much
The book had endured so much
The book had wasted all its potential on empty promises
There's nothing to find in the book
But yet you found something
Something no one else could find
Say a diamond in the dirt
But let's say it's less...
A flower growing in all the rubble and dust
In all the terrible conditions that it was surrounded with
It still continued to grow despite it all
It wasn't the best
But it still grew
People came by
The flower grew
They left
It wilted and became smaller
It wanted someone to love it
But all they wanted was pleasure from the flower
From the person
From the soul
From the body
Til you came by and the flower saw something in you
You nutured it
You cared for it
You loved it
It grew as much as it could
It grew to meet your standards
It grew to love you
It grew to be with you
The sun in my day
The sun in my life
The moonlight on my days out
The moonlight dreaming of my days with you
You deserved everything
But I ripped it from your hands
I ripped it from your soul, your heart
I'm sorry it went this way
...
Rip the pages
Cut them up
Burn them
Scribble on them
Bury the flower
Cut the stems up
Pick the petals off
Pick the leaves off
I'm letting you do what ever you want
I deserve it all
All the pain
All the regrets
All the anger
All the sadness
You don't deserve it all
...
I do
