It's not Okay (ereri/riren)

.1

Eren, much to his dismay, woke up by his blaring alarm that echoed through his room. He nearly broke the device by slamming the snooze button. He felt so, so restless. He got a surplus of sleep that night, sleeping about 11 hours, yet he still feels like he hasn't slept in ages. He never has energy anymore no matter how much sleep he gets. Then again, he never sleeps right, it's either too much or nowhere near enough.

He wanted to get up and shower since he skipped one yesterday, but he was just so tired. He physically felt unable to move from his bed, so he stayed glued to it until he heard the sound of his alarm go off again 5 minutes later.

He slowly sat up with tears in his eyes. He isn't ready for another day; he never is. He would give anything to just sleep in and have a day off, but neither his parents nor Jean would let that happen.

Forcing the tears away, he made himself get up and head in the shower. Black spots covered his vision and his head spun for a minute, but it quickly went away.

The hot water from the shower definitely helped. Although getting in the shower was hard, being in the shower itself was a comfort, almost as much as his bed. He leaned his head against the bathroom wall and prayed for an easier day as he felt the hot water spill down his back and slight pain from waning bruises.

He finished his shower and got dressed quickly, hopeful to have a few minutes to himself before his walk to school, but that hope was short lived when his mom knocked on his door. "Hey sweetie, Jean is here to walk you to school. He told you to hurry hunny, and he's carrying your breakfast, so make sure you eat on the way."

Eren didn't respond, and he didn't need to, he heard his mother walking away right after she spoke. He sighed defeatedly, knowing that Jean was just gonna eat his breakfast again, but he almost was thankful since he hasn't been able to keep food down recently. He still tried to sneak some when Jean wasn't around so he wouldn't pass out, but it almost always made his stomach dangerously ache, almost worse than when he didn't eat at all.

He made his way to the living room, seeing Jean interact with his family, all laughing and talking with him. Eren fully diminished the idea of anything being wrong with their relationship a while ago when he saw how well Jean interacted with his family, especially his adoptive sister Mikasa. Mikasa wouldn't let anything that would harm Eren come within 10 feet. But Eren has always been left to wonder, if love was truly like this, how come people were so eager to have it? He would hate the idea of any of his family going through this, and he surely feels terrible for his mother for having to go through what he does, but it's what you do for love he supposed.

"Hey Eren, let's get started on our walk," Jean said, knocking Eren out of his thoughts as he stood up and walked towards him, outstretching his hand. Eren smiled and quickly took his hand without hesitation, thankful for a rare moment like this.

"Are you guys sure you don't wanna ride with me and Annie?" Mikasa asked, "it wouldn't be trouble! Annie asks everyday why you guys don't ride with us. Eren would also have time to properly eat his breakfast."

Jean smiled back at her. "Nah, don't worry about it Mikasa, I love having time to walk with Eren. And don't worry, i'll make sure Eren eats." Jean politely declined, but Eren could almost taste the fabrication in his voice. He decided he was wrong though when no one else noticed and told them to be careful. When he realized what Jean said, he stared up at him surprised. Jean hasn't let him eat breakfast for almost a year now. Jean waved to them and led them out the door.

Jean's grip on his hand was loose, almost uncaring. Eren has grown used to this so it didn't bother him much. He assumed Jean was just used to being in a relationship, which in a way he understood. Right when he was just about to ask about his breakfast, Jean began eating it. He didn't dare speak up about it, but rather felt confused. Maybe he meant that he'll make sure i'll eat later? Eren shrugged it off. Surely Jean wouldn't have lied to his family.