Past Lives

Freak

I was in school. I went to the restroom. I was in a stall. I tried to leave. It was locked from the outside. Someone threw water on me from outside the stall. They left, giggling. I didn't protest. I didn't yell. I didn't even cry. why?

It was at the end of the day, at 7 p.m., when the janitor finally opened the door. I thanked them and left. Before leaving, I saw that there were slurs written on the door of the stall I was locked in. The most noticeable was 'Freak, written in big, bold letters in the middle of the door.

I walked home, made dinner, ate, fed the cat sitting outside my house that I am yet to name, and slept as if nothing ever happened that day. At least, I tried.

At night, while lying on my bed, I stared at the ceiling and started crying, then hiccupped, then fully sobbed. why? not because of what happened to me, but because I was so sick and tired of everything in my life. I try to be nice to people, but even when they aren't, I don't complain; I stay in my own world; and I never hurt anyone. Why does everyone hate me?

I was so tired of all this that I started thinking, 'does it even matter?' 'Who cares if one grain of sand is missing at the beach, right?'

I decided to go on a walk. I was sitting on a bench in the middle of nowhere, just staring in front. I wasn't thinking anything; my head was empty.

I was just sitting there when suddenly a raven flew over to me and sat next to me. It didn't fly away, nor did it bite me; it just sat there and gave me company. It was a weird feeling, but for the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone.

I mean, dad, dead mom murdered, siblings none. despite this, i always try to be nice to people. I give my best and smile to people That's nice, right?  I have never tried to hurt anyone, ever. Still, why does this happen? what's wrong with me?¿ At one point, my brain just shut off. I didn't even know what I was thinking, like I had no control over my own brain.

I let out a sigh as I got up. "I need to sleep."