Hunger

Chapter 12

"They're kind. And thoughtful. And genuine," Columbina said as they sat on their respective sides of the bed, "My...boyfriend and girlfriend, if that's what you want to call them. You asked me what was so great about them earlier." There was a bit left of the rum and Buggy had convinced her to bring it over with her and share the rest with him. It would help them both get a good night's sleep was his reasoning. He knew full and well she'd have to turn in soon; frankly he was worried about her, but selfishly he'd found an excuse to keep her awake for just a bit longer.

"Kind enough that you thought about offering yourself to me in lieu of meeting up with them?" He countered her statement. He wasn't about to let that one go.

She rolled her eyes at him playfully. "I was messing with you earlier," she said. "But perchance I wasn't," she was turned towards him on the bed, one hand propping her head up, the other holding the shot glass they were now sharing with one another. Lying down and letting her breathing become more even had seemed to help steady her. "Would you have taken me up on that offer?"

Columbina watched as something stirred in the clown's eyes for a moment, but was gone almost instantly. There was an interim of silence that permeated the air and then Buggy spoke.

"Top us off before I answer that?" he glanced from the shot glass and then back to her.

"Of course," she sat up, retrieving the bottle from the floor. She poured more of the rum into the glass and put it near his lips, helping him take a sip. "Hey, if this is bringing up some kind of bad memory we can talk about something else."

"Did I mention to you that I was on Gold Roger's crew?"

"Seriously?!" Columbina asked, taken by surprise. Her eyes seemed to come alive once more. She shifted, making herself comfortable and attentive for a grandiose story about himself that he wasn't able to give her. "Are you for real right now? And if you are: number one that's simply incredible and number two I'm curious what that has to do with the possibility of you and me getting a little horizontal?"

"It's one hundred percent for real." For some reason I'm finding it difficult to be anything else with you right now, Pink. Can I be real with you?

"What was your role? Wait-no! Hmm, let me guess, Buggy," she appeared contemplative, her mind now making guesses about him, "You were someone of great importance on that ship? You would've just been a boy though, huh? Were you training to be helmsman? Maybe Quartermaster someday?"

He could have lied to her. Could have told her something meant to impress her. He decided against it, even if the answer threatened to embarrass him.

"I was never anything but a lowly swab. I didn't get the chance to be anything else. He died long before I found out if my rank could've risen."

"I'm sorry," she said, palpable sympathy in her voice. "That must've been difficult." If I'm guessing his age right and doing math correctly he was only what? Twelve? Thirteen? Fourteen, maybe? Shit, Buggy...

"Won't lie. I was a bit of a fucking mess for years after that. Had you met me then and made that offer I would've told you yes and not thought twice about it. Women and men were both just bodies to me for a while after Roger died. Either for me to fuck or kill."

"What about now?" Columbina asked, sensing something had changed and really wanting to ask him how and why. She thought better of it. The vibe in the room had sobered and if he wanted to supply her with that information it was up to him.

"Only if you got some kind of return value out of it. Like, an actual return value," Buggy's mind turned towards a long ago buried memory that was threatening to well up, one that he wasn't interested in sharing. He pushed it away, choosing to focus on the woman that was in front of him right now, instead. Columbina wasn't like her, in fact in a lot of ways she seemed the complete opposite. They were always compared to her. And for the first time in quite a while he found himself not caring about that. "Curious to know what that would look like for you, Pink. What would I have to do for you?"