ashley, tuesday 00:43am
ok so i was texting someone yeah
and
obviously, inevitably,
i started talking about brad lololol
oops
my mouth slipped
DAMN OK it ain't my fault bitch he fucked me up in the head oK
god
moving taylor swiftly on
we were talking about how he nevER EVER EVER smiLES in photos
like never
like actually nevER
like not even in the yearbook photo EVER
like even in a #smile4africa campaign he'd probably be squinting like he got lemon juice in his eyes or somethin
on the contrary, (LOLOLOL LOOK AT ME GETTIN ALL LITERARY WOO IM SMART DATE ME) it's not just him who does that
(duh)
bc literally 1927912726272% of the male species does this shit
you know
IM A BOY I TRY TO BE SEXY BY BITING MY LIP BUT IM SECRETLY NINE SH WHAT DO U MEAN IM FIVE YEARS OLD IM EIGHTEEN
ya feel me rn
and they're either, as i said b4, biting their lip, hanging their mouth wide open, straight faced, raising their eyebrows and showing their forehead lines, squinting etc. etc. etc.
soooooooo getting to the pencil point
here's a little rant okay y'all gotta brace urselves lmao
#1 (:0) whY IS yoUR MOuTH oPeN y'all w8in for dick or something?!?!?! r u trying to get punched in the face?!?!?! let's see if ur mouth an still hang like its a damn curtain when i shove my dick in ur throat
like SRS shut ur damn mouth young man
i smell fuckboy
#2 (|||||||||:-|) stoP RAISING UR EYEBROWS I CAN SEE UR FOREHEAD LINES SO CLEARLY IM NOT EVEN KIDDING ITS LIKE BAM WELCOME TO THE ZEBRA HOUSE
SERIOUSLY
STOP
STOP IT
i can litERALLY connect my phone to ur foreheAD
like i don't evan need wifi when i got u
like what even is the point?!? is ur eyes vvv small or somethin?!?! r u tryna make up 4 ur tiny dick or somethin?!?!what are the perks?!? perks of that look-my-eyebrows-r-higher-than-ur-grades shit is that you never need to worry about losing connection
BC U HAVE UR FUCKING FOREHEAD LINES TO MAKE UP FOR IT
i rest my Louis Vuitton case
#3 (-.-) OK DONT GET ME EVEN STARTED ON THSI SHIT
WE ALL
IN OUR LIVES
HAVE ENCOUNTERED THIS SHIT ON IG
U KNO
THAT FACE WHERE THE MALE SPECIES MAGICALLY BECAME BLINDED BY THE CAMERA AND THEY BE LOOKIN LIKE THEY READIN SIZE 3 FONT OR SOME SHIT
LIKE
wHY R U SQUINTING???!!
WHY
W H Y
