dilemma ashley
so many things on my mind
and yet I think of you
and what you did and what we had
of that i can't undo
maybe im mad because i miss you
maybe im mad because i don't
maybe im mad because you don't miss me back
maybe im mad because you won't
all these little things
that make you who you are
are the things you try to hide
like a sun within a star
same alike they may
shining bright and full and clear
yet you hide away
from the truth and what is near
there is no rope to pull
like there is no us to save
the rope has ended and died
and everything i have gave
has payed off in its own way
as finally i am over you
because mention my name and
I will not come running
three years have done us well
summer gold and swell
with only remedies for a broken me
and strangers with memories
lying is of no worth
and truly i am happy for you
and what you have become
so maybe ill find another who
will treat me like you did
and give all the feelings that you gave
maybe we will end well
unlike our goodbye without a wave
and I know I'm a little bit late
so im gonna say it now
im sorry I blackmailed you
so much that this has become our fate
because i realize only now
that I am hopelessly in love
with a memory of a different time
a different place where i called you mine
hopefully one day i can say
that maybe i can remember
how it feels like to have a crush
and not make it to just november
to remember how to feel
life and not a black and white blur
to see someone who is able to see
all the colours like you were
and this will be with a person
who will not actually be you
so please, even though you're (so fkN) hot
lololol at you
my mind tells me to reminisce
my brain tells to not
it tells and contradicts
every scenario drowned and shot
it tells me to forget
the chances that i blew
and with obsession overdue
i can start something anew
