curious | abbymax

Consequences

Abby's POV:

As soon as Abby shuts the door, she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Abby presses herself against Max's bedroom door, and takes a moment to process what just went down. Abby had just kissed her childhood best friend. Who was a girl. And she liked it. She kissed a girl and she liked it. Screw you, Katy Perry, for that annoying earworm that was now playing in her head in the middle of her crisis.

Abby made her way to the bathroom and set her clothes down on the sink counter. She had gotten over the fact it was a girl by now, and was more focused on the fact it was Max. Max who she had been friends with since 4th grade. Max who she could always confide in and would always make her laugh at the darkest of times. Max who got that twinkle in her eye when she talked about an interest of hers. Max who she was suddenly feeling unwanted feelings for. Max who's friendship with her she might have just ruined.

Oh God. Abby leaned against the sink with both hands on the porcelain counter and looked at her reflection. Was she actually gay? She never really considered the possibility until the thought randomly popped in her mind recently, now it was all she could think about. Then she made the mistake of letting the thought escape her lips for Max to hear, and soon enough Max's lips were on hers. This was all a big mistake.

Abby rushed to turn on the water. Turning the dial all the way to the left, she took her showers burning hot. The sound of the water pouring was like white noise, filling up her mind. She stood in front of the mirror helplessly as she waited for the shower to warm up, trembling with anxiety. You know what, she didn't have the patience in her, so she got into the shower, despite it being freezing cold.

"Oh fuck, that's cold!" Abby exclaimed as the icy cold droplets cascaded down her body. Soon enough she was used to it though, or maybe it had finally warmed up. As Abby lathered her hair with Max's fragrant raspberry shampoo, she felt as though she was scrubbing her mind of all unwanted thoughts. She finally felt clean.

It didn't last, cause as soon as Abby stepped out of the shower and into the cold air, everything came flooding back to her. Max's lips on hers. How soft they felt. How her stomach twisted. How much she liked it. How Max's mom rudely interrupted them and now they would never be able to go back to how it was before. How she doesn't know what would've happened if they had never been stopped, and how she'll never be able to find out.

Flashback to the kiss:

Max's lips collided with hers and suddenly, Abby felt her stomach swirl. Not in an "I need to throw up" way, but in a thrilling, pleasurable way. But it also gave Abby major anxiety. Maybe she did have to throw up. Abby felt all jumbled up, and she couldn't figure out the cause of this rollercoaster ride of emotions. She just wanted it to be over. Abby didn't like having too many emotions, because emotions led to vulnerability, so she chose to stay numb. Though it wasn't even a choice at this point. After everything Abby has been through, she has truly been desensitized at any twist that can be thrown her way. But maybe not. Because as Abby's stomach twisted in knots, this was something she couldn't decipher, couldn't run from, couldn't avoid like every other problem in her life.

They kept kissing. Abby thought Max's lips were one of the softest things she'd ever felt, second only to Max's hair, which Abby filled her hands with now. As she fisted her hands in Max's hair, she felt like she was in heaven. It only got better when Max deepened the kiss, pushing her tongue inside of Abby's mouth. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. But it all came crashing down when they were interrupted by Max's mom.

Abby nearly tuned the whole interaction out, not hearing anything being said as static filled her ears. Suddenly she heard her name, and she caught the end of Ellen's sentence. "Okay?"

"Okay." Abby whispered.

Soon enough, Max's mom left, leaving the door open just a crack, like the crack quickly forming in Abby's heart.

And back to the present.

So yeah. That's where Abby was at right now. She stood with her hand on the doorknob of Max's bedroom. Terrified to open it up and have to face reality. Face the truth that she felt something for her girl best friend. She somehow gathered the little courage she had in her and opened up the door with a grimace on her face.

As she sauntered towards Max's bed, she had never been more nervous in her life. Abby noticed Max was looking her up and down, as if she was checking her out, but that couldn't be right.

"You're wearing my clothes." Max said plainly.

Abby blinked. "You said I could. But I can change, if you want-"

"No. Don't." Max said quickly, perhaps too quickly.

"So what is it?" Abby questioned, brows furrowed.

"Nothing, just... You look good in them." Max blushed.

Abby's eyes widened. Huh? She had to be hearing things. "What?"

"Nothing, forget I said anything." Max dodged her question.

So Abby tried, but as she climbed into Max's bed, she couldn't stop feeling her lips on her. As she tucked herself into Max's comforter, and their legs brushed, and Max flinched away as if Abby had burned her, she couldn't stop thinking about it. As Abby turned to her side, away from Max, even though she felt Max's eyes burning holes into her back, she couldn't forget how complete she felt. And so she barely got a wink of sleep, up all night thinking about everything they ever said to each other, analyzing every interaction they ever had, for a sign as to how to proceed, but she came up empty. And that's how Abby felt as she fell into a light slumber. Empty.