ٌReturned to a time of loneliness

Sleep

Hours, hours, I love my life and I adore life.. Hours, hours, I feel that I am alone, and the word on my tongue is not new, and that the stars are far away, and the step of time is as difficult as the accuracy of clocks, hours, hours.."

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The words of the song were echoing within me before I heard them, the voice of "Sabah" whose light was shining deep inside me, illuminating the darkness of the long, pitch-black night, whose brutal blackness was covered with a silk cloak filled with the fragrance of a beautiful woman, but she was fierce, cruel, and often treacherous.

A thick cloud of yawns covered my mouth, and after that I only felt her standing upright in front of the stubborn giant, who refused to budge from his place.

She came strutting arrogantly and arrogantly, looking at me as if she was challenging me and looking at me sometimes with gloating and stubbornness, and at other times with kindness and tenderness, then suddenly she approached me whispering, whispering in my ear with the hiss of a snake, saying: "Everyone who has deep feelings and conscience like you must suffer."

I jumped out of my seat in horror! I looked around, wondering: "Who? Who are you? --- I am she. I am she.. Here near you, I stay with you as well. I do not leave my place near you, but I am colorful, changing, and fickle. I do not remain in any condition."

At this moment, I felt that I no longer found a way to express what I felt, and I wondered, is it really necessary for everyone who has deep feelings to suffer?

I couldn't find a way to express the brutal and strange pain I felt inside myself at that moment.

Everyone always accused me of being cruel and cold, even though I see that most people are cold. I don't know how to find out what's inside me."

- But I know? I am confident that you have feelings inside you that you feel are the only ones you feel in this world. Thousands of pains and images suddenly materialized before me that would hurt me if I revealed them, and which no one can understand because they will seem ridiculous to him because he will not understand them.

- But I know very well what makes you comfortable and what benefits you... She said confidently: I know you and understand you completely and with a complete, never-deficient understanding.

- "Who are you? Tell me what you want from me?"

- I am your days? I said with astonishment and amazement: My days?! What days are you talking about?

- The past, remaining and continuing days of your life until now... I left you in this life and I am your only wealth.

I said in astonishment: You left?! What legacy are you talking about and what wealth is this?

Badal said: I... I am your only wealth, and I am the most important, first and last thing that this life has bequeathed to us. I am the only legacy that life has left for you, so do not neglect me and protect me, but appreciate my presence in your life.

With a cold, faint smile, I answered her: What existence are you talking about? Did I choose this existence or even choose to come to it? What will I do in this existence? Does a human being begin to end? What a ridiculous game that any living being is born in order to die and begins in order to end, but rather grows in order to disappear and go to nothingness from which it came Every child came to life without his choice, and so he cries and cries as if he is crying out for help, pleading with the nothingness from which he came in order to save him from the clutches of that hateful life whose cold, heavy, suspicious breeze blows suddenly, like a stormy wind that blows through his kidneys in the first meeting between him and her, and from the first moment he contracts and screams. Crying, as he wondered, "Why did you wake me up and take me from the nothingness I came from? Why was I never satisfied with anything and I did not mention that I suffered any inconvenience... Did you bring me and chrysanthemums into this stupid, ridiculous joke against my will? I start walking to the finish line." Where I start progressing step by step until I reach the finish line.