Toshiro Hitsugaya x Female Reader Fanfic

Chapter 7

At Orihime's -

"Any updates?" I asked as the white-haired captain and his lieutenant entered the living room where Orihime and I were patiently waiting. We arrived at Orihime's apartment around 2 hours ago. During about an hour of that time, Toshiro and Matsumoto contacted the Head Captain to discuss the info from our meeting earlier. Orihime and I stayed put in the living room during their discussion, Matsumoto had asked me if I wanted to join since I'm also a soul reaper and worked in the seireitei but I refused. I have met and been acknowledged by the Head Captian a few times and I highly respected him, but I was still uneasy with the whole situation and decided I wasn't in the best head space to join them.

"He said he's going to start making preparations in the seireitei for defense..." Toshiro began as he and Matsumoto made their way to the couch beside the one Orihime and I were sitting in. "...as well as prepare an offense group if it came down to battle" He finished off as he sat down with Matsumoto sitting down next to him. The room was now completely silent.

"...anything else?" I asked faintly. The silence felt like it was slowly engulfing me and I wanted to so badly break it.

"...he also shortened our stay here..." Toshiro started, "...we're to go back to the Soul Society in a month"

"So soon?" I sprung up, "What if Aizen makes strikes the second we're gone? We can't just abandon Karakura Town now" I exclaimed desperately. 'Calm down Y/N' I reminded myself, I was starting to feel like a ticking bomb from the built-up anxiety.

Toshiro looked up at me, his expression hard but eyes soft, "Those are Head Captain's orders..." he stated as he looked into my eyes. He felt the same way I did, but knew orders are orders and nothing can be done. I stood frozen, anxiety continuing to increase.

'I should've killed Aizen when I could...' I began to think, '...if I had killed him beforehand this wouldn't be happening...' thoughts started to run through my mind, the what ifs that I knew were useless now. Delusions to stop what felt like a never-ending guilt that lay heavy on my soul. I stopped and settled on one single fact. 'I- I was too weak...and still am' I thought. I started my way to the front door.

"Where are you going Y/N?" Toshiro asked standing up. I stopped in front of the door with my hand on the knob. I felt defeated, and useless, questions like 'Did I lose track of my one true goal?' raced to my mind. 'I got too distracted and let down my guard'. I turned my head to face Toshiro without letting go of the doorknob. His expression, although discreet, was filled with confusion and concern making my heart squeeze.

"I'm going for a walk..." I said quickly, "...to get some fresh air" I made up as I opened the door.

"Y/N-" Toshiro was cut off as I shut the door. I began to walk and take deep breaths.

Timeskip -

I found myself at the top of the hill that Toshiro had brought me to watch the sunset yesterday. I had walked around for almost a good hour, maybe more, but I was feeling a lot better. My anxiety finally cooled down and now here I was looking over the busy town, watching how people went about their day. I had realized I left both my denreishinki and Gikon back at Orihime's out of my desperation to get out around 30 minutes ago, but I was in now hurry to go back.

I went over the metal road fence and sat on it, just like Toshiro and I did when we were here. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as I threw my head back. The afternoon breeze felt refreshing as it gently moved my hair. I continued to sit like that for a good while just enjoying the moment.

'I wish I could stay like this forever...' I thought. The weather was nice since it was mid-November. I could hear tree branches gently flow with the breeze and dried-up leaves falling. Memories from when I was a kid began flowing into my mind.