Wolf in the night(Steter)

Chapter 2: Trying to forgive

Stiles woke up to the sound of Malia climbing through his window. Even though they had broken up weeks ago after they got back from mexico, she still stayed the night with him. It wasn't a messy break up and there wasn't any tears. They both came to realize that they just weren't compatable enough to be in a romantic relationship.

After they broke up, things weren't weird. Things were actually going great. They realaized they were better as just friends. Stiles loves Malia but in a completly platonic way. And she felt the same.

Every night she still climbed in his window and curled up next to him in bed. They both had trouble sleeping alone. Malia often had nightmares of her mom and sister and Stiles still wakes up screaming when he has nightmares about the neugitsune. Whenever they had somebody next to them, thier nightmares lessened and it was easier to bare. Of course Stiles was always the little spoon. He suspected it was some part of Malia's need to protect.

Stiles didn't even bother turning over. He felt an arm wrap around his middle and began to relax. He likes it this way. As just friends. They were never in love. It was their first relationship and it was bound to end sooner or later. He considers her one of his best friends. Of course Scott will always be his brother but Scott has been distant lately. Losing your first real love can't be easy. Stiles blames himself. He'll always blame himself. For not being strong enough to resist the nougitsune. For being weak.

Alison and Aiden died because of him. Lydia and Scott lost the ones they loved because of him. Stiles knows he can never forgive himself. So why did everybody else? He didn't deserve it.

"Hey can you calm down please?" Mali's says. "Your heart is pounding like crazy"

Stiles mumbles something of an apology and tries to relax. Malia's grip tightens around him.

"Wanna talk about it?" Malia asks.

"No I'm fine just go to sleep"

Malia sighs "Come on Stiles. I know something is bothering you and you won't sleep til you talk about it. And if you don't sleep then I can't sleep"

Stiles flips himself over so he's facing her. They stay like that for a while not talking. Malia let's him get his thoughts in order while she waits.

"I just don't see how nobody hates me" he says softly.

Malia raises her head from the pillow a little confused "Stiles why would anybody hate you?"

He looks away from her as tears fall from his eyes. He hates crying in front of people. It makes him look weak. But the again he is weak. Right?

"Because I killed them" he says in a barely audable voice.

Malia's face drops and she cuddles back up to her friend.

"Stiles, that wasnt you. It was that thing. It was the one who killed Alison and Aiden, not you" she tells him in a sympathetic voice.

"But if I hadn't have been weak, they never would've died. And what about all the people I did hurt? With my own hands? Malia I tried to kill Scott. "

She grabs his face in her hands looks him in the eyes. "Stiles you listen to me. That was NOT you do you hear me? That thing was controlling you. You never would've hurt those innocent people. You never would've hurt your brother. You can't blame yourself for anything that happened. It could've taken control of any one of us but it chose you. It chose you because you are human. But it never anticipated that you would be so strong. You may be human stiles but you are stronger and braver then any of us. And that's why you are here now. Because you fought it and survived"

By the time she finished Stiles was crying and snotting like a baby.

Neither of them said anything after that. She just held him and rubbed circles into his back until he cried himself to sleep.

Malia hated to see her best friend so hurt. But she knows how he feels. After she killed her mother and sister, she never thought she could forgive herself. She still doesn't but she's trying. She's trying to see past the things she did. She's trying not to blame herself or compare herself to Peter.

Peter.

Her real father. She still cant believe it. How could she be related to that monster? He kills for power. He kills for no good reason. She wanted to know him. He was going to help her find her mother but that's all over now. He tried to kill Scott. He tried making her kill Scott. Her own Alpha. The Alpha that rescued her from that lonely life she spent alone as a coyote in the woods. But why would Peter want her to kill the Aplha? Wouldn't that make her the Alpha? It doesn't make any sense. Peter is too selfish. He must have had another plan up his sleeve but didnt get to carry through with it before Kira stopped Malia. Malia will forever be greatful to Kira for that. She cant imgine what she'd do if she had killed Scott. Stiles would never be able to forgive her.

And that's why Malia understands what Stiles is going through.

Malia is glad Peter is in eichen house where he belongs. He deserves it. Deserves to rot for what he's done. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but he blew his chance to be her father. Not that he wanted to in the first place. She has a father. That she loves and adores and whom cares about her, and that's good enough for her.

She still wonders about her mother. Her real mother. The desert wolf. Stiles offered to help research her but without Peters help, they didn't get very far. Peter would know how to find her but, Malia has too much pride to ask that monster for anything.

Or so she thought