Equations Of Love

17

"You're the feeling I can never replace"

DIYANSHI'S POV

After Ayushman left, I felt a twinge of disappointment. It wasn't every day that I wore a saree, and I had hoped he would say something, anything, about how I looked. But he hadn't, and that stung more than I cared to admit. Pushing those feelings aside, I headed downstairs to join the others for the Haldi ceremony.

The ceremony was a blur of laughter and joy. Relatives and friends gathered around, playfully smearing each other with turmeric paste. I found myself laughing, the vibrant energy of the occasion lifting my spirits. It was easy to forget my worries in the midst of such warmth and camaraderie. I applied turmeric to my cousins and aunts, enjoying their teasing and banter.

As the ceremony wound down, my eyes searched for Ayushman. When I finally spotted him, he was already covered in turmeric paste. A pang of disappointment hit me—I had wanted to be the one to apply the paste to him. It felt like another missed connection between us. I tried to shake off the feeling, reminding myself that it was just a ceremony, nothing more.

I applied turmeric paste to one of Ayushman's cousins, smiling and laughing with the rest of the family. But the sense of disappointment lingered. Once the ceremony ended, I excused myself and headed back to the room to clean up.

In the room, I began removing the turmeric paste, my mind wandering. The door opened, and Ayushman walked in. Our eyes met, and for a moment, neither of us spoke.

"Nice view," I commented, trying to mask my disappointment with humor.

He looked confused. "What?"

I shook my head, deciding it wasn't worth explaining. But my curiosity got the better of me. "Are you, by chance, angry with me?"

He looked genuinely puzzled. "Why would I be angry with you?"

"I don't know. I just felt you might be," I said, avoiding his gaze.

"Why?" he asked, stepping closer. 

"Because you were".

"Because I was?"

I hesitated, then started removing my earrings. "Nothing," I said, trying to brush it off.

He moved closer, gently turning me to face him by my arm. "Don't leave it in between. Just tell me what's on your mind. I wouldn't mind even if it's mean."

To my horror, tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to hold them back, but the emotions were too overwhelming. Ayushman looked anxious. "Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

I cried harder, mumbling through my tears, "Because you were not even looking at me."

"What?" he asked, still puzzled.

"You didn't even compliment me, and you didn't let me apply haldi to you," I cried, my voice breaking.

Ayushman quickly moved to console me, his arms wrapping around me. "It's okay, it's okay. You look utterly beautiful, Diyanshi. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise. And you can still apply haldi to me if you want."

I looked up at him through my tears, feeling a mix of relief and embarrassment. The pre-period mood swings were going to embarrass me someday. Mustering some courage, I asked, "Don't you find me attractive?"

He looked shocked as if the question had come out of nowhere. "What?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper.

AYUSHMAN'S POV

When she asked me if I found her attractive, I was left speechless. How could such a thought even cross her mind? How could she think I didn't find her attractive? Everything about her was magically beautiful. Maybe she was having period mood swings, I thought.

"Diya, how could you think that?" I said softly, my heart aching at the sight of her tears. "Of course, I find you attractive. It's impossible for me not to."

Her tears didn't stop; if anything, they increased. "Then why didn't you tell me I looked good? Why didn't you say anything?" she cried, her voice trembling.

I quickly moved to console her, guiding her to sit on my lap. She hesitated but eventually settled in, her body still shaking with sobs. "I'm so sorry, Diyanshi," I said, holding her close. "You looked stunning today. I should have told you. I'm so sorry for making you feel this way. It won't happen again, I promise."

She sniffled, looking up at me with tear-streaked cheeks. "You really think I looked beautiful?"

"Absolutely," I said, my voice firm. "You are the most beautiful woman I know."

Her tears slowly subsided, replaced by a hesitant smile. "Thank you," she whispered.

I took her hand gently. "Let's do this properly. Why don't you apply haldi on me now?"

She nodded, a small smile forming on her lips. Carefully, she applied the turmeric paste to my cheeks, her touch soft and gentle. I did the same for her, the simple act bringing a sense of closeness and connection that had been missing for days.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked, concerned.

She nodded, but then she looked down at our position and suddenly jumped up, her face flushing with embarrassment. I noticed her discomfort and decided to give her some space.

"I'm going to wash up," I said, heading towards the washroom. "Take your time."

As I closed the door behind me, I muttered to myself, "I shouldn't have such thoughts. She's on her period, and there's a long way to go for that kind of thing."

The cool water splashing on my face helped clear my mind. I took a deep breath, determined to be more attentive and considerate moving forward. I needed to show Diyanshi that she was cherished and loved, no matter what.

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THANK YOU <3