Little Widow | marvel

Part 5 - The Other Widow

Katya's POV:
Suddenly, the lights in my cell get brighter. A guard walks in to the room and a small cut out of the glass wall lifts just enough for him to deliver a meal. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. A true American breakfast. The guard leaves the room almost as soon as he came.

I look at the meal in disgust. My mind fills with thoughts about food. "You don't deserve it" "you need to waste away." I back away into the corner farthest from the food and look away. If I pretend it's not there, maybe my brain will shut up.

I bring my knees to my chest and rest my head on them, curling up in a ball. I think about what my childhood and the rest of my life would have been like if I wasn't a trained assassin. The thought brings me pain but also comfort. It's something I've been doing since I was little. And for some reason, it always seems to calm me down. Normal kids dream about living a fairytale life and being saved by a prince, but I think about a life where I'm not an assassin, where I'm not the villain of the story. A life where I had a mom, a dad, and maybe even a sibling.

I snap myself back into reality. I'm all that I have. I'll never have a family, I'll never have someone that I care about and who cares about me. That dream was ripped from me when I was an infant. When I needed love the most. But I'm a trained assassin and spy, I don't need love. Love is for children, something I never got the luxury of being. I shake the thoughts out of my head once again.

Okay I'm getting really bored in here. There's nothing to do in this tiny ass cell but think, and I've done too much of that already. I stand up and start jumping in place. At least that way I can burn some calories. The wound in my leg starts to throb again. Good. I switch to high knees, then jumping jacks, then running in place. I don't stop running. I'm like a hamster on its wheel. Running with no where to go.

Natasha's POV:
"I want to see her," Yelena says.
"I know. But I don't want to overwhelm her," I respond. "She may put on a tough act, but she's fragile."
"Does she remember you?" My sister asks.
"I don't think so. If she does, she hasn't said anything. I mean, I barely remember her. She was a baby when we were in Ohio, and she was so young when I got out."
"She was older when I left the Red Room. She might recognize me."
"I know. That's why I don't know if you should see her. She's been through a lot. Seeing you might trigger memories. Bad memories," I tell Yelena.
"You're probably right. I just thought it would be nice if she knew she had people she can trust," she tells me.

I think about what my sister said and sigh.
"You're right. I don't think Katya trusts me. Maybe she'll trust you more. She deserves to have someone there for her. Why don't we see what happens. If it goes bad, we can figure it out from there."
"Thanks, Nat," Yelena responds with a smile.

Katya's POV:
As soon as I'm beginning to get bored again, Natasha walks in, followed by a blonde woman. The two women look at me confused.
"What? I'm bored," I huff, still running.

The blonde gives me a familiar smile. She to seems familiar. Like I knew her in a past life. I stop running.
"Do I know you?" I ask her. She looks at Natasha.
"You did," she responds. "My name is Yelena."

What does she mean I did know her? I close my eyes and dig deep into my brain... Yelena... Her face pops into my head, except we're not in America. We're in the Red Room. I open my eyes.
"You're a Widow," I say. "I remember you."
"Ex-Widow," Yelena corrects me. "I got out. Just like you."
"I'm not out," I respond angrily.
"But you could be," Yelena tells me.

I don't know why I'm angry. My whole life I've dreamed about getting out, but now that there's a chance I could be, I just crave the familiarity of my life as an assassin.
"Let me go," I demand.
"You don't really want to go back, Katya. You might think you do, but you don't," she says as if she knows me. But I guess she did a long time ago.

I sink to the ground, my back sliding down against the wall. The memories of the Red Room that I try so hard to forget come flooding back. The training, the physical and mental pain I had to endure.

Yelena's POV:
"No, no, no," I hear Katya whisper. "Stop, stop it, make it stop," she says while she covers her ears with her hands and squeezes her eyes shut.

I turn to Nat.
"You're right, it's too much. I shouldn't have come here."
"But she remembers you, Lena. That's good."

Katya is curled up in a ball rocking herself back and forth.

"Open the cell," I tell Nat.
"Are you sure?" She asks me.
"Yes."

The glass wall lifts and I enter the cell, sitting next to the girl.
"You're okay. You're safe," I tell her calmly. She can't seem to steady her breathing.
"I'm going to take your hand, is that okay?" She gives me a light nod, so I take her hand in mine and rub circles on the back of her hand with my thumb. I look at her, but she won't meet my eyes.
"No one can hurt you anymore," I tell her.
"We're here for you," Nat says, crouching down in front of Katya.

Katya might put on a strong front, but deep down she's just a girl with feelings. A girl who's been through more than her fair share of trauma. A girl who is worthy of love, compassion, and a family. A girl who deserves better than the hand she's been dealt.