SMALL A/N BEFORE EVERYTHING: hey guys, so i just wanted to say that i'm scrapping the adult timeline here. if you've seen season 3 then you know why...but it's been months since it ended and i'm mad at them so i'm just gonna drop it. if y'all were genuinely interested in the adult plotline for this fic then im sorry 😭 the only interesting part is that y/n and lottie are married and y/n is secretly hiding her wife's little cult she got going on, other than that, it's all the same. kkay, bye!!!
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IT had only been two nights, three if that includes tonight, and lottie wasn't sure how long she would be able to sleep like this. she was surprised she even slept through that first night, or the second for that matter. evenings felt more deserted than before. it was almost intolerable to sleep without y/n's presence in the room.
after laying in bitter silence, lottie decided she had enough of this and sat up from her cot. she stealthily tip toed past the other girls and made it to her brown bag, where she kneeled down and picked up y/n's cassette player, along with searching through her favorite tapes that she kept stashed away for her own safe-keeping. her focused gaze was suddenly put at ease once she finally caught sight of the sade tape she had grown to love. out of her little (stolen) collection, that one received the most attention.
she snuck back to her cot by the wall and got comfortable. she plugged in the headphones and without making too much noise, slid the tape into the cassette door.
with that, she hid the player under her pillow and laid back down, forcing her eyes to shut as the first song began to play. the familiar saxophone-played melody opened the first number, which was soon followed by sade's voice, which was almost hypnotic. the familiarity of the situation brought her back to when y/n first showed her the tape. she remembered the eager expression on her face as y/n watched for her reaction. lottie let out a quiet sigh, having found herself in a state of longing once again. she didn't know what specifically she yearned for, nor why she only felt such a feeling for y/n, but she didn't stop herself this time and she let herself admit that she missed the other girl.
she could see y/n's face, mentally tracing each unique feature like sculptor would with their most precious sculpture. it was clear that lottie admired her greatly. she continued to let her mind wander into past moments spent with the girl, like the first time y/n looked at her with an equitable gaze, sweat dripping down her already shiny forehead as she cooled off from the heat of the game. then her gentle gaze as she first told her about her nightmares, and how her head rubbed circles into her back ever so gently.
but the one memory that spoke out to her in this moment was when y/n first showed her the tape playing at the moment. she remembered peeking her eyes open and seeing the genuine awe in her smile as she watched her listen to this exact song. your love is king.
for once in her life, she caught herself praying. she didn't know to who, if it were to god or to another deity entirely, but it was to any higher power that was willing to listen. her prayer consisted of these whispered words: "god, please keep them safe. let them come back here in one piece. please, keep my friends safe from harm." she pleaded. the thought of any of her friends, especially y/n, being hurt caused great pain to her psyche.
