3) A Robin In The Window

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Robin (?) rapped again on the glass. Jason opened the window, mostly to tell Robin to fuck off until he noticed the stab wound in his side. "Sorry," Robin coughed, "was coming here first then got stabbed. Anyway, fuck are you- oh you're Jason." The kid rambled. Jason narrowed his eyes. He'd changed a lot since his Robin days, and this wasn't Dick, Bruce or Alfred. Nobody living should be able to recognise him, except maybe his old English teacher. Beside the point. "You will tell no one or I swear to fuck I will end you." Jason said, pulling a gun from his belt. (Emergency stash, you understand.) Robin's stupid domino mask lens widened. "Woah, woah, you're not the Jason Todd I knew and loved."

"Few people loved me. Of those, far fewer knew me. Who the fuck are you?"
"Robin. Well, uh, kinda have a secret identity thing going on right now, but- ow, Jesus, getting stabbed sucks – but uhm-"
"Fuckin hell. How old are you?"
"Like, nineteen? I dunno. Lost track."
Jason narrowed his eyes, cracking the window open wider. "Try again, but less of the lying."
"What do you mean lying?"
"Telling me you're nineteen might be more effective without the voice cracks."
"Fine, I'm seventeen." Robin huffed. Jason raised an eyebrow. "... Fifteen."

"Fucking- Jesus, get in here." He said after making eye contact with Damian, now just twelve but not so far from fifteen. Then, he opened the window to its full capacity, allowing Robin to sneak through. He pulled a first aid kit out of the couch cushion and began sterilising Robin's side.
"How did you become Robin?" He asked.
"Uh, well, B, he wasn't doing so hot after you died, got a bit angry, started hospitalising people like fuckin Ivy. Ivy's literally never hurt a fly."
"Literally. She has straight up killed people."
"She's girlbossing and you're being a misogynist by not allowing her space to cook, serve and devour."
"Say that again but slow?"
"Todd, he's trying to tell you that Poison Ivy is simply doing her best and her best is more than good enough and that you're being a sexist by not allowing her to reach her full potential." Damian translated, entering the room and having the decency not to pretend he wasn't eavesdropping. Robin startled. "That's a child."

"You're a child, who has been stabbed, and I will be writing B a strongly worded letter. Actually, might just send a different message."
"Don't kill a guy."

...

"I wasn't gonna kill a guy!" Jason defended.
"You pulled a gun on me, a poor bleeding child!" Robin said.
"Didn't know you were a child, to be fair. And you did threaten my secrecy."
"Bro, I'm literally living my life here?"
"Not for much longer." Jason scoffed, despite the fact he was trying to clean a stab wound for Robin. "So, keep going, how'd you become Robin?"
Robin tried to cross his arms and pout, but Jason slapped them down as they threatened to move the bandages. "Well, I asked D- Nightwing to return and he said no,"
"Good for Dickie." Jason nodded.
"So then I started tailing Batman. Life's work."
"Circling back to you tailing Batman later, but continue."

"So then I sort of just told him I knew his identity and if he didn't let me be Robin I would release it. He wasn't happy about it, kept telling me he wasn't letting another kid die in the suit, so thanks a lot."
"Hardly my fault."
"Kind of is I cannot lie. So yeah. Alfred made him take me as well, said I would just do it alone otherwise. Which was accurate to be fair."
"Yeah, Alfie has a way with that. So, you tailed B?"
"Yeah, I've been following, ow, don't stab me-"
"It's a needle, stop being a pussy."
"You're a bit of a dick, you know? Anyway, yeah, I used to like follow you around d and take photos and stuff. Better than most of the morticians at photography, their composition is just-" Robin scoffed. Jason glanced through narrow eyes.
"You're the Drake kid." He decided. Tim sighed. "Yeah, guess I am. How did you know?"

"I carried you home one night with that fucking monster of a camera. Heavy as shit, especially back when I was tiny and malnourished." He said, glancing heavily towards the ribs poking out of Tim. "And you're making me act like Dick right now, so I'm extremely pissed off at you. You're going to take better care of yourself so that we never have to have this conversation again, goddamnit. I was fine acting as a father figure, but an older brother? Absolutely not. Am I understood?"
"...yes? Dick made you sound cool."

"That's because I didn't let him smother me, so he viewed me as standoffish but through his rose tinted glasses he read that as cool. Which is ironic because he was the popular kid."
Tim raised an eyebrow. "No way."
"He had money to flash, he was B's ward, and he was an ex-circus kid who can still do the flips. Also athletic. I mean, he was a mathlete-"
"He was what?!"

"Oh, Robin, they've been spoiling you of little brother's mocking rites. Ugh, I'm done with the stitching. I'm telling you all of Dick's embarrassing shit. Damian, sit down too, you have a lot to learn."

"Should I take notes, Todd?" Damian asked, both innocently and completely seriously. Jason hummed. "Won't be necessary but pay close attention. So, DiscoWing is his old costume and it's just, the worst. Someone told him deep Vs were cool and they aren't..."
"This feels like a breach of his boundaries." Tim said. "and besides, the DiscoWing outfit is on display."
"Really? Dick tried to burn it after I saw it."
"Uh, emo trauma after your death. Sorry. I keep referencing your death, probably fucked up."
"It's actually my favourite thing about you so far. What were you even here for if you didn't know I was pulling a whole Plants Vs Zombies minigame?"

"First off, I kinda thought you were too old to know Plants Vs Zombies. Secondly, I traced Red Hood but then he came to Jason Todd's old house." Tim shrugged haphazardly. "Bruce doesn't know, because he gets all nearly emotional when you're brought up and it sets back our progress. We nearly have him in therapy and everything, so if you can delay telling him you're back until, like, a week from now..."
"God, kid, you're doing a number on the old man." Jason chuckled, remembering the screaming matches Bruce used to get in with Dick. Dick was possibly too emotional at times, too open, to the point where Jason was 90% sure he only fought Harley Quinn for free therapy. Unfortunately, Bruce was not emotional enough- "Wait, did you say I was too old for Plants vs Zombies?"
"Well, to be entirely fair to Drake, you are looking worse for wear." Damian reasoned.

"I'll tell your mother."
"You don't know where she is." Damian retorted. This was entirely true, and Damian didn't deserve a lie, so Jason huffed. "I'll tell your dad."
"Hang on, who's his parents?" Tim asked.
"Bruce and Talia? Talia Al-Ghul? Did you not clock that immediately?"
"No, why would I clock that?!" Tim squawked, noticeably irritated at the implication he should be able to differentiate between two different genetics and environmental factors. Jason shrugged, sighing.
"I clocked it."
"I'll clock you in the fucking jaw."

Jason, standing at roughly 300 pounds of pure muscle and with League of Assassins training behind him, raised an eyebrow at the weedy ferret of a child that Tim Drake was. He demonstrated the many issues with the statement by resting an elbow on the kid's head. "Okay, Timothy."
"Whatever. I have to go, I have English homework and my teacher's a dick."
"Where do you go?"
"Bristol Private." Tim scowled.
"Same, who's your teacher?"
"Mr Branstorm, the ass."
"He asked for my autograph once, for when I became a famous author. Loved that guy."
"Embarrassing." Damian scoffed.
"If he likes you, can you come to my parent/teacher conference tomorrow?"
"What? Tim? Don't you have like, actual parents?"
"Oh. Yeah. But they're always away, so... I mean no worries if not, like, stupid ide-"
Jason sighed. "Yeah, I'll do it."

"Yes! Thanks Jay!" 

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