THEIR STORY (JenLisa)

RELAPSE

This is another chapter in Jennie and Lisa's story following the 'MISSING YOU' (first ending). I feel drawn to write it, as this story has somewhat become my emotional anchor for the last few weeks.

~M

~~~

Staring at the ceiling as the faint glow of the streetlights filtered through her window, Jennie lay in bed. The night was quiet, but her mind buzzed with thoughts about Lisa. It had been months since they broke up, yet the ache in her chest from time to time felt fresh, like a wound that refused to truly heal.

She clenched her fists, trying to distract herself by scrolling through social media, but every photo, every post seemed to remind her of happier times with Lisa. They had shared so much—laughter, tears, dreams—and now Jennie was left with a void that seemed impossible to fill.

Desperate to escape the suffocating loneliness, Jennie forced herself out of bed and texted her friends. Jisoo, always the practical one, immediately responded with a plan.

"Let's go out tonight," Jisoo suggested over text. "It'll help take your mind off things."

Jennie hesitated, but the thought of sitting alone with her thoughts was unbearable. "Okay," she replied with a sigh.

They agreed to meet at a local bar. As Jennie walked into the dimly lit establishment, the noise of laughter and music enveloped her, momentarily drowning out her inner turmoil. Her friends greeted her with hugs and smiles, but Jennie could only muster a weak grin in return.

She ordered a drink, hoping the alcohol would numb the ache in her heart, if only for a while. Yet with each sip, she felt herself teetering on the edge of emotional collapse.

"I miss her so much," Jennie finally confessed to Jisoo outside on the patio, her voice barely above a whisper. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at her friend.

Jisoo hugged her tightly, understanding the depth of Jennie's pain. "I know, Jennie," she murmured softly. "But you're strong. You'll get through this."

Jennie nodded, though inside, doubts gnawed at her. What if Lisa had already moved on? What if she was dating someone else, someone who made her happier than Jennie ever had?

She excused herself and stepped outside for some fresh air, the cool night breeze offering little solace. Pulling out her phone, Jennie hovered over Lisa's contact, her thumb itching to send a message, to hear her voice just one more time. But she knew it wouldn't help. Lisa's silence spoke volumes, and deep down, Jennie knew she needed to find a way to accept it and move forward.

She leaned against the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks, her body shaking with silent sobs. The weight of her emotions was crushing, leaving her feeling fragile and exposed.

Eventually, Jisoo found her, wrapping her in a comforting embrace. "I hate seeing you like this," Jisoo whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

***

Jennie was not always pining for Lisa, there were days where she would be okay but then there would be nights were she replayed their last conversation—the gentle words, the understanding, the finality of it all, over and over. Lisa needed to heal on her own, and Jennie had finally let her go. It was an amicable breakup, but it still didn’t lessen the ache.

And Lisa’s silence after their last conversation was a cruel twist of the knife. Was she moving on effortlessly while Jennie drowned in memories? This wasn’t healthy for Jennie. She had already resolved to move on, but why was she relapsing again?

Her phone buzzed, and Jisoo’s name flashed on the screen. Jisoo, her steadfast friend, who had witnessed their love bloom and wither. Jennie hesitated, then answered.

“Hey,” Jisoo’s voice crackled through the line. “How are you holding up today?”

Jennie’s throat tightened. “I’m g-... not. I’m falling apart again, Jisoo.”

“You need to move on,” Jisoo said gently. “Lisa won’t be the last love of your life.”

“But it still hurts,” Jennie whispered. “Every breath... every memory of her and how we, I don't want anybody else.”

Jisoo’s solution was simple: “Jennie, you have to try and date someone else.”

So Jennie tried. She met a girl named Minji—a whirlwind of energy and mismatched socks. Their first date was a disaster. Minji spilled coffee on herself, tripped over her shoelaces, and accidentally insulted Jennie’s taste in music. But in that chaos, Jennie laughed. For a moment, the pain receded.

Yet Minji wasn’t Lisa. Her laughter didn’t echo in Jennie’s dreams, and her touch didn’t ignite the same fire. Jennie wondered if she was doomed to compare everyone to her ex.

And then, during their awkward dinner, Minji knocked over a water glass, and Jennie’s heart clenched. It was like déjà vu—the same nervous laughter, the same clumsy gestures. Lisa on their first date, and Jennie accidentally spilling food on her clothes, turning embarrassment into shared laughter. Minji’s mishap was a mirror of that memory.

But Minji wasn’t Lisa. Jennie reminded herself of that as she dabbed at the spilled water, her eyes stinging. She couldn’t keep living in the past, replaying old scenes with different actors.

She realized, maybe she was not ready to meet someone else. Then came the art gallery—a refuge for lost souls seeking solace in brushstrokes and colors. Jennie wandered through the exhibits, her heart aching for release. And there, amidst the canvases, she collided with Jiwon.

Jiwon was quiet, her eyes a stormy gray. She didn’t smile, didn’t pretend life was easy. Instead, she studied the paintings as if they held secrets. Jennie joined her, and they stood side by side, two broken souls seeking solace in art.

“Lost love?” Jiwon asked, her voice a whisper.

Jennie nodded. “And you?”

“Lost dreams,” Jiwon replied. “But maybe we can find new ones.”

They talked until the gallery lights dimmed, sharing stories of heartache and hope. Jiwon’s hand brushed against Jennie’s, and it felt like a lifeline. Maybe moving on wasn’t about forgetting—it was about creating new memories, painting over the old wounds.

As they stepped out into the night, rain still falling, Jennie knew she wasn’t healed. Lisa’s absence was a scar etched into her soul. But maybe, just maybe, Jiwon could be someone new who'll transform her pain into something beautiful.

And so, under the weeping sky, Jennie held Jiwon’s hand and took a step forward. Maybe she can try.

~~~~

I thought I was okay—ready to be friends again. But as we started talking more, getting too close, I slipped back into old habits, being too available, too eager. Now it’s clear—I’m not over it, not over her. This isn’t moving on—it’s a relapse. She’s moved on, doesn’t think about me like that anymore, but I’m still stuck, like a carousel, going in circles with the same old pain and I don't know how to stop. No, the truth is I don't really want to stop.

~M