"Only like myself when I'm with you, Nobody gets me, you go." ♫ Nobody Gets Me • SZA
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Harlow's idea of a perfect first date?
"Ooo, look at this gal, she's got some junk in the trunk! Too big for your apartment but fuck do I like the way she bounces. Look a'that! Wa-pow!"
Spanking Christmas trees.
"S-Stop, Harlow stop!" The hot chocolate he brought me for breakfast is weighing down my bladder, and I know I look like a stupid square dancing penguin arm in arm with him, tripping over my own two feet.
"Oh, see look at theirs, you want one like that. Damn, you could hang some heavy ornaments on those branches if you know what I mean. Hey lady! Where'd you get that sexy pine-"
One twitch of Harlow's wiggling eyebrows and my only option left is to clamp a hand over his mouth, feign embarrassment to the nice, disgusted couples around, and drag him through a gap in the trees to the next, much emptier aisle.
The second we're out of sight, I set free the ache in my cheeks and he joins me, dimpled giggles released into the waves of my hair as he tucks his face close to me; only making me feel even more ditsy and foolish.
"Did you see the way that the lady in green looked at you?" I lower my voice to a volume that only he can hear and gently push against his chest, "People are getting homicidal. You have to stop. We came here for a tree, you are gonna get us in trouble before we can can even pick one!"
"I'm jus' being thorough." Harlow bats guilty lashes.
"You're being a creep."
"I'm making you laugh."
"You're making a scene."
He snorts, "I make a scene wherever I go, darling. I'm a man in in heels and lipstick. This body is a freakshow, people are bound to stare. If it weren't for your incessant screams, I can guarantee no one here would think we were demented teenage buffoons."
"Then my point still stands! If you weren't making me scream then-"
"Oh, I love making you scream."
My mouth claps shut, "Are you done yet?"
He twirls a piece of my hair, "You're asking me that like I don't have you giggled halfway out your panties."
"Ha. Who says I'm wearing any?"
Checkmate; Harlow's attitude disintegrates right before my eyes and his, glaze over with an unexpected sprout of modesty. He scans me up and down with a harsh swallow and I beam with pride, shoulder checking him with a greedy cackle.
