The Choice Bonjovi|| Engl.

Chapter IX•thinking for yourself

Jon, throughout his life, had always thought of others, it was certainly also true that he had thought of himself a little when he decided to embark on the path of being a singer in a group..

If on the one hand he was good at singing, on the other he was having love affairs that didn't end in disaster, they were a Greek tragedy..
He didn't know why he wasn't particularly interested in this, it couldn't be said that he didn't give his all to the other person or that he wasn't a loyal and faithful person..

Yet there was always something wrong, perhaps it was the thought of marriage that particularly scared others, so much so that they made wrong decisions..
But for him, asking something like that was nothing more than showing how much that person really meant to him..

Yet after Miriam, not that much time had passed, he was determined not to take a similar path again, maybe he wasn't as ready as he imagined, maybe Miriam wasn't what he was like, Jon believed and maybe happiness for him was just music..

Looking back, he would never have hoped to find someone who could appreciate his life and would have understood that he would not always be at home, but that he would always return and it seemed that with Miriam he had found all this...

He didn't know how many times he had imagined his ideal woman and how everything he had only thought about he had found in Miriam..
Was it just a utopia and nothing more?
Probably, it hadn't gone as he had always thought, finding himself in a completely different scenario could destabilize and this had happened in him..

- what's wrong with me - Jon asked his now advanced confidant Richie during the sound check break

- huh?! Sorry Jonny but I'm not following you - said Richie returning from his thoughts where he had been brutally woken up by that question

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- I'll rephrase then.. Is there something wrong?!
Because if that were the case, all my broken relationships would make sense,” Jon said again

- Jon, I don't know how many times I've told you this, but there's nothing wrong with you and for the record you've only been engaged once, that is to Miriam - said Richie

- this is also true, but it was a long story, in short ten years, almost - said the singer

- here we go again ..
All right, listen to me now...
There's nothing wrong with you, you're the most private person I know, you're never mentioned in gossip magazines..
You managed to keep your relationship hidden for ten years Jon, that's not for everyone..
In this story I have my thoughts, but I will keep them to myself, I don't want you to suffer more than necessary - said the guitarist

- and I would ask you to tell me what you think instead, it can't be more painful than seeing the woman you love in bed with someone else when you return from a world tour - said Jon

- my words will be cruel..
But if you wish I will tell you what I have been thinking for a while - said the friend

- yes please - said Jon

- Ok fine ..
You know what notoriety means, I certainly don't have to explain it to you, in any case in my opinion she wanted that..
He tried for so long, hoping that maybe you could show it to the whole world, like other famous people often do with their partners or wives..
But since you are reserved you never did it..
And maybe by creating a scandal, she would have gotten what she had always wanted, but at your expense,- said Richie, explaining his thoughts..

Yes, Richie had always thought so, he had never liked Miriam, but he had always pretended nothing had happened, precisely because he saw one of his closest friends happy and it was unthinkable for him to ruin that happiness for thoughts that might seem apparently ephemeral. and of little importance...

But now that she wasn't there he could express himself clearly and without too many turns of phrase, to embellish a not too sweet thought..

- you say - Jon then asked him as he confirmed

- as much as it displeases me, yes Jon, in my opinion it is what he was aiming for for years..
And it amazes me that you lasted this long,” said Richie

- I'm an idiot for always believing in her despite everything - said Jon

- friend, you're not an idiot for loving, you loved for the first time and you should be proud of it - said the guitarist

- it's just that..- the singer tried to say but was stopped bitterly before he could finish it all

- nothing, it's just nothing, Jonny, I want to give you some advice before the rehearsals start again okay - said Richie

"Surely tell me," said Jon

- you saw how beautiful it was to love a person, but now I ask you to love yourself and think only of you, of your dream, of your present and of the band..
The right woman for you will come, but don't look for her more than necessary, she will find you, for once make yourself want and think about singing and who you are - said Richie

- I'm not good at it, that is, I'm not good enough to think only and exclusively about myself..
The band comes naturally to me, our dream too, but not to me - said Jon

- so make an effort, do it for your own good Jonny, you can't continue to suffer, dwelling on something that is in the past..
It doesn't work like that, you try to learn from the mistake you made and never do it again..
No longer falling into the clutches of someone who pretends to deserve you..
And try to think about what makes you feel good for now - said Richie

- it will be hard - the singer said to his friend
.
- listen Jon I'll be honest with you..
Nothing is easy in this life, but when you turn the page you are mentally freer and stronger to be able to face it in the right way..
You don't talk to her now because you're not ready, because you haven't really let her go and because you're hoping for something that won't happen..
But if you change the perspective of things you will see that you will be able to face it and be stronger - said the guitarist

"Who knows," Jon said

- but yes, in my opinion, that's the way it is, at least afterwards you won't preclude yourself from being happy with someone you deserve for being a friend - said Richie