~JORDAN PATRICK~ Not a man of ice but a creation of flames; he is bound to only destruction as his form of expression. Aiming his fists and using his tongue as a weapon is the only way of life Jordan knows. Day in and day out anger swarms within him...
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'You can do it, just do it, it's not that hard, that's what they say even when my plate is half-full' - Perfection
~
These chairs are really small. Like primary school small. I'm already feeling as uncomfortable as it is and the chair caging me in isn't helping with that.
My thighs as always seem to double in size when I'm sat down and I've tried three different positions to make them seem a tad bit smaller.
Cross legged, one leg over the other, balancing on my tip toes. Nothing. I'm stuck looking like this, feeling like this, no movement can ever make me feel confident.
Now I'm starting to wonder whether or not I should have worn this dress. A floral material made of cotton.
White adorned with an embroidery of powder blue Tulips with a square neck and a split hem showing off one of my pale legs.
I always wear clothes that mirror summer; it makes me feel happier, lighter and that's what I need especially today. But now I'm starting to regret ever wearing it.
Childish. That's what my mother has always called me. A girl with an innocent face and a foolish mind. Apparently wearing summer dresses makes one a child.
Maybe she is right. I wouldn't know, it's not like I have friends. Though I wouldn't say I didn't make efforts to try, before I got sick I always tried but no one paid me any attention.
I'd always make the stout effort to engage in conversation, I would politely insert myself into topics that I knew well but I was always given a look of pitty or condescendance.
Left to my own devices my thoughts consumed me and perfection I began to chase instead.
I shift in the seat once again feeling the plastic beneath me stick forcibly against my thighs. I just know that when it is my time to rise it's going to hurt.
I comb my fingers through my blonde locks tugging harshly when I feel a knot. I hope I look alright, I've always been brought up on the importance of presentation. It's the first ten seconds that count.
In the waiting area I would have thought my parents would have stayed with me. Just to at least make sure I have settled in alright and it shouldn't have surprised me when they said they couldn't stay. It hurt all the same.
My parents are shair holders in a world leading company called 'Lineage and War', I am not sure on the full ins and outs of the place as I have only ever heard of them talk about it once.
That was when they were going through a tricky step in their marriage and I even thought they were going to get a divorce. They managed to pull through, sometimes I wish they hadn't.
They have a lot to do with the finanances from what I've heard correctly and because the company isn't situated in just one fixed place, my parents travel a lot leaving me alone in the house.
