~JORDAN PATRICK~ Not a man of ice but a creation of flames; he is bound to only destruction as his form of expression. Aiming his fists and using his tongue as a weapon is the only way of life Jordan knows. Day in and day out anger swarms within him...
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'Where there is anger there is a constant war. Lives are lost, souls are left tainted. I never realised other people had their own wars too' - Agression
~
I fucked up again and it shouldn't be a fucking surprise at this point anymore.
I can never do anything right. Me and Ivy had been getting along fairly well until I had to basically threaten her to not speak about my parents and then I went even further by forcing her to eat.
It was as clear as day that she was uncomfortable and me forcing the idea of eating upon her was not the best move to make. I was stupid.
Truth is, I can't be gentle. Caring about someone is not in my nature because I have never had anyone in my life to care about. I do care about my mum but there are reason why I can't get too close to her.
So when it comes to Ivy I have to be gentle around her because she is fragile. She's an innocent ball of light that if one drop of water touches her, it would exstinguish her flames entirely.
I don't know how to talk to her, how to look at her without frowning, I can't just smile on the spot or be so open with communcation like fucking Caden.
These new roads I cannot naviagte well and it's not like friendship comes with a map or pamphlet. I'm terrified and that makes me fucking angry.
In the fitness room perspiration forms along my burning skin as I continue to batter the punching bag in front of me.
As usual it rocks violently from side to side as I take no rest and continue my paggering assualt. My knuckles at this point are absolutely fucked, I won't be surprised if I'll need surgery when I'm older to repair the destroyed muscle tissue.
"Take a break Jordan for the last time," Brayton drawls from beside me, clearly irritated that I am pushing myself to extreme over exertion.
I spare him not a glance and continue punching the bag. It wouldn't be so bad if I was actually wearing boxing gloves but I like to feel the pain. It's punishment. And I deserve it after how I acted today.
"Just piss of Brayton," I pant, momentarily pausing to wipe away the sweat from my brows that was dripping into my eyes.
There is a heavy sigh and then a pair of dark arms wrap around the bag haulting the motion of it swinging. I exhale aggravatingly and step back glaring hard at Brayton who stares back at me just as heatedly.
"The fuck is going on with you man? I get it your pissed about something but fucking yourself up over it is going to do no one any good," Brayton steps forward in front of the bag crossing his arms over his chest so they bulk. I know better than to swing for him.
I clench my jaw swiping up my towel from the nearby bench and dab away at the sweat that coats my bare chest.
"Ivy has an eating disorder doesn't she?" I basically demand and watch as Brayton's arms loosen.
