Northbound Pilgrimage III

Chapter XCII - Life's Greatest Illusion

It still felt like none of this was real.

He looked down at his hands, stained with blood. He saw the clothes on his leg and the side of his shirt singed and for some reason, he thought about what a fucking shame it was. They were good clothes. Expensive. From Skingrad. And that suddenly felt important for some reason as he knelt in the snow, defeated.

He knew he would die soon.

The assassin said so.

He thought he knew what it was like to be marching for his death. He still had hope to take Gabriella by surprise. He forgot how bad this was. He forgot the feeling he felt in Dawnstar.

On his knees, in front of this very same man, knowing that he would kill him.

"Gabriella," the man gasped, his voice trembling. This time, it didn't feel like his grief would be to Bishop's advantage. It just promised a more painful death.

He expected it anytime now. Any second.

"You... you have no idea what you're doing to me!" The man yelled. "I needed her! I needed Cicero! You're ruining everything that we do for you."

Bishop didn't feel like he registered those words for a while. His mind was just empty and slow, waiting for the strike to come. But it still didn't. And he had to force himself to really hear the words.

What?

He didn't understand anything. The man was right. He had no idea what he was doing. He was just sitting there, staring at the assassin panicking above him.

"I thought I could work with the mess you made, but I can't," the man threw up his arms angrily. "And what about Babette? Fuck! There's no other way. You need to be dead. That will be the only way to make things right."

Uh-uh. Sure.

What was happening? Should he attack?

He didn't feel the same instinct now. Maybe he was all out of that instinct. It ran out when he killed Gabriella. Bishop now just raised his bloodied hand, curious if he could.

"Do not even fucking think about it if you wanna live," the man snarled.

Wait... what?

Bishop got a sudden urge to laugh. He was kinda glad that only a brief amused chuckle came out. Maybe it wasn't just Cicero who was insane. This guy could take the fucking trophy for that.

"Is this fucking funny to you? Ugh!" The man snarled. "Do you understand what you just did? All my efforts will be wasted here unless I can kill you."

Bishop wasn't able to actually speak. He wanted to ask why the man hadn't killed him yet. Then again, he didn't really want to be killed. And he wasn't sure what was happening anymore.

Was he really going insane? He felt like this every time these lunatics got close to him. Nothing made sense. First this guy was trying to kill him, then he said he should not attack if he wanted to live, then he was gonna kill him again. Maybe if Bishop waited long enough, he would make up his mind. It was a decent chance it would land on 'not kill'. Like a coin flip.

Sure. Sounded so fun to have his life decided by a coin flip.

"What is the matter with you?" The man snapped at him again and he actually waved his hand in front of Bishop's eyes as he'd been delirious. "Did Gabriella do something? Always impressive."

Oh she did something alright.

Fuck! No! He couldn't let this guy kill him! Not yet. Well it would be great if he avoided that fate altogether, but first, he really needed to find something.