poems by erika

poem #6- a sibling saga

when i was a little girl

i looked at my brother

how the stars

gaze towards the moon.

i would never have been able to fathom

the fact that he was different.

when i was five

and he was eight,

i did not understand 

why he took medicine every morning

and why he was signed up for

horseback riding at the drop of a hat

and i had to beg for hours

just to go to the library.

when i was seven

and he was ten

i did not understand

why he went to a doctor whose office was so far away

twice a year

or why he would rather stay in his room

than play with me

when i was ten

and he was thirteen

i did not understand

why it was fine when he got C's

and why i was yelled at for getting a B.

that little girl did not understand

why her parents told her to 

protect her big brother on the playground

and why it wasn't the other way around

but now that i'm twelve

and he's fifteen

i'm beginning to understand

why the moon won't show up in the sky some nights

and why my brother

won't come out of his room. 

written february 2, 2015

[a/n- i've tried to write this authors note a million times but i honestly do not have words. so i'm going to leave you hanging with this one. sorry]