Keep Me Alive • Camren

Six

The definition of home is "a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household." Where you're supposed to feel safe and secure, where you can escape from the outside world. In that case, Camila hasn't been home in years. It's only been two days since she's physically been inside the apartment that she sometimes shares with her mother and stepfather, but only for 20 minutes to shower and change clothes, when the house is empty. She tries to spend as much time as she can away from here. Whether it's on the roof with Lauren, alone, or at school.

If she had a choice, she'd never come back, but Camila's a minor with no job. There's no where else for her to go.

The small brunette takes a deep breath as she turns the nob and peeks inside. Her eyes dart around the living room and she slides inside, softly closing the door behind her. She stands there for a few minutes. Even though it's only been a couple of days, it feels like a life time since she's been here. The place never seems to change. It's always messy. There are clothes, plates of food, and trash everywhere.

Sinu never has time to clean. She works twelve hour shifts, plus three hours over time, and still only makes about six hundred a week. She comes home at 7:00 p.m and makes dinner for her husband, who works very little and always comes home drunk, but he helps out with bills so she can't just throw him out.

Camila wasn't the best daughter, especially now. Leaving her poor mother alone to tend to that disgusting man, but Camila can't stand to even be on the same floor as him, but she only knows how to runaway when things get difficult. When her dad left she took a train to New York and lived on the streets for a week, looking for him. When she found him, she begged for him to come back, but he already had new wife and acted like he had no idea who Camila was. When Sinu married William, a fifty year old alcoholic, she spent as much time as possible at the library, then on the roof. Yeah, it could be easier to find a job and help her mom pay bills, but no one wants to hire a 17 year old with no work experience or even a drivers license. For now, she'll have to settle for picking up around the apartment. It was the least she could do.

So for the next hour, Camila collects dirty clothes off the floor, the couch, on top of chairs and throws them in to the washing machine. She straightens picture frames, folds clean clothes, washes dishes, sweeps, and takes out the trash. Leaving no speck of dust, so that she can do the same thing when she returns next time.

Camila walks into her room, the only room she doesn't bother to clean until she needs something. No one ever goes in there anyway. She packs some outfits into a plastic bag and sets it on the bed. Walking into the bathroom, Camila strips off her clothes. She lets the water run for several minutes before she decides to actually get in. Once in the shower she wonders about a lot of things. Do aliens go to school? How hard would it be to get to Mexico? Maybe even Cuba, but mostly, Camila thinks about death, and how easy it would be to just let herself sink into the lukewarm water and never come back. And for a while she tries it, but she remembers her mother, and how she can't leave her.

She was actually thankful for Lauren. She helped Camila realize that there were people who needed her around, even if she did cause them heart ache most of the time. She was grateful Lauren was there that night she tried to jump off the building. Maybe she should try to be a better friend to the annoying green eyed lesbian, and maybe she didn't want to be selfish anymore, but the sound of the front door opening reminded her of the nagging in her head. Reminded her of how miserable she really was.

Camila holds her breath. Did she really take that long? How long had she been bathing? There was only one person that would be home at this time. Her heart threatens to jump out of her chest as she hears footsteps getting closer. Then they stop, right in front of the bathroom. There's silence, but even though Camila tries to stay perfectly still, she's afraid he'll hear the thumping in her chest. She's sure even the neighbors could hear. She swallows the lump in her throat. What is he waiting for? It only angers Camila that the man waits for her response. "What do you want?" She screams. Tears begin streaming down her face, but they are calmed as fast as they start when a soft voice asks, "Mila?"

"Mom?"

"Karla, what are you doing?"

Camila doesn't answer. She only cries again, but not of sadness. She's relived, and frankly so god damn tired of hiding and being scared.

As she gets out of the bathtub and puts a fresh pair of clothes on she considers that her sleep deprived mind could be playing tricks on her, but she almost breaks down when she finds Sinu in the kitchen.

"Mom? What are you doing home?"

"I got off work early. I haven't seen you in days. Are you hungry? You must be starving."

Camila smiles and nods, taking a seat at their run down kitchen table. "I thought you were William."

"You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Sinu places a plate of Camila's favorite food, Spaghetti, in front of her, and takes the seat across. "I mean....I kicked him out. He's gone."

Camila is so shocked that she drops her fork, "Really?"

Sinu grins and nods, "yes."

"B-but-what? W-why?"

"I hated not having you around. I hated not hearing your voice fill the apartment when you sang in the shower. I hated that I put you through all this."

"No, mom. I put you through a lot too....but-what about the marriage? The bills?"

"I have the divorce papers, and don't worry about the bills. He never helped that much anyway Don't worry about anything just eat mija."

"But-"

"Eaaaaat."

And Camila ate. She helped herself to three servings of pasta, and later joined her mother to watch telenovelas. They laughed, they cried, and Camila finally had a good nights sleep for the first time in months. She was happy. Life was starting to look up, she hoped nothing would ruin. Camila was determined to find a job the next morning, to be a better daughter, a better person overall.

A/N: For anyone that's confused, this is just a sort of flashback chapter to tell on why Camila wasn't on the roof the other day. The next one will pick up on Lauren's day at school. Hope you like it!! c: