Keep Me Alive • Camren

Sixteen

Warning: Sexual Abuse

A gust of wind swipes away the smoke from Camila's cigarette. She watches it until it dissolves along with the unforgiving morning air.

Just as she has with the previous two cigarettes.

For several minutes, she follows the clouds, and for several minutes she wishes to be apart of them. To simply float away.

She continues to stare blankly at the many shades of gray that have made a home in the sky.

She stares and stares.

Until she grows tired, and decides she is unable to stand the way the darkness has also seeped out of her soul.

Camila had gone months without feeling as helpless and bitter as she did now, and she honestly thought she was done with felling this way. How stupid of her.

She knew she would never be completely happy, but she didn't think she would ever return to her old ways.

And, here she was.

On the roof, smoking like there was no tomorrow, and questioning why she should remain alive.

She closes her eyes and takes another drag, trying to push the thought away. But it was useless. No matter how hard Camila tried to think of other things, it always found a way back into her mind.

She chuckles. It's persistency reminded her of a certain someone.

Someone she hasn't spoken to in a week, but the girl still refused to leave her side.

With the exception of school and work.

Yet, the brunette somehow blamed her for what happened.

If Lauren had been with her, maybe she wouldn't have drunk so much. Maybe she wouldn't have left with the first guy who approached her, and maybe he wouldn't have tried to take advantage of the state she was in.

...
The the three girls had barely stepped inside before Camila was practically abandoned by the couple. She's left to stand uncomfortably at the door. She remains there for some time, watching the sea of people. Parties were never Camila's scene,  and for a while she contemplated going home, but she didn't know this neighborhood, and had no idea where any bus stop was.

The Latina wanders the crowded house in search of Lauren.

Every single room, but she nor Zendaya were anywhere to be found.

Her heart begins to race.

Lauren knows she doesn't do well with strangers. Why would she just up and leave her alone?

Not being able to find the one person she knew made everything worse.

Camila closes her eyes and takes deep breathes. Just as Lauren would instruct to calm her, but it wasn't the same. Her friend's voice was raspy and soothing. All she could hear was loud music and  see irrelevant people.

Then she remembers where she is. In a place full of booze. A famously known depressant made for relaxation.

Camila pushes her way into the kitchen, and low and behold. The table is full of about twelve different types of liquor.
Most of which she's never even heard of.

She finds an empty, clean, cup and pours in some Vodka. One of the only beverages she knows.

She cringes. At first it's quite bitter and she almost spits it out, but everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves, and she wanted to also.