diary of an idiot 2.0

i love you for everything.

...

they took care of me.

they were my parent figure.

they helped me.

they were there for me when no one else was.

they gave me advice.

they hanged out with me.

they loved me more than anyone would ever.

they gave me that love.

they showed me that love.

they invited me to their fandom.

they watched a show i love to death for me.

they took a bullet for me.

they saved me from getting manipulated.

they told me their issues, even if it took a bit.

they put their heart and soul into making me happy.

overall they did everything i've always wanted from someone, even if they had their own issues. they were way worse than mine, but did that stop them from loving me? no.

they did everything for me

almost our platonic anniversery.

.

and what did i do?

barely showed my love.

got mad at them a few times.

also got into their fandom yet didn't complete the gameplay.

ABANDON THEM SOMETIMES FOR A DAY.

guess what.

it was more than a day this time.

i know they hate being abandoned. and i tried to prove i care.

then THIS happens and it completely looks like i despise them.

what have i done.

i seriously fucked up.

oh and it gets WORSE.

instead of talking to them personally

guess what i do?

make an entire fucking chapter about it

for anyone to see

basically leaking personal shit.

and before you go "yknow this makes you look bad right?"

.

OF COURSE IT MAKES ME LOOK BAD.

NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK.

GUESS WHAT.

I'M TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO GO TALK TO THEM.

I DON'T CARE IF THIS RUINS MY ONLINE REPUTATION.

look, if i don't act loyal to one person, that just means a lot for me.

of course i have to share it.

so everyone knows.

besides i deserve it from how much damage i did, and now can't reverse.

"you're making this to guilt trip that person and the rest of your reader's!" 

NO.

I WOULD NEVER GUILT TRIP ANYONE, EVEN IF IT SEEMS LIKE IT I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I'D NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE.

hey i guess that isn't beliveabe now right.

this is one of the main reasons i don't vent it makes me look like a guilt tripper.

i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now and pray that person sees this, and that i don't wake up ever again

which if they do see this

i'm sorry. i actually fucked up worse than i could've ever imagined.i deeply love you and know you hate abandonedment, yet i go this far. i should be grateful i even met someone as perfect, amazing, and heartwarming as you.at this point it seems repetative for me to apologize. i understand if you wanna stop being best friends, and i understand if you don't wanna forgive me. it's okay. i'd just be glad you saw this in the first place. hell i'd certainly never forgive me if i were you.

bye.