Human

Chapter four- Run

The world went quiet in my head, the voices silencing, the room and people disappearing, I couldn't even feel Isaiah by my side anymore. It was all lost. Lost to him. Lost in his eyes. He held my gaze stronger than anyone ever had, unwavering and cold as ice. I found myself wanting to go to him, to tell him how beautiful his eyes are, how captivating he is.

Eden

Eden

Eden stop

A few tugs brought me back to earth, I found my eyes roaming back to Isiah, feeling like I was in a trance. Before I could stay zoned out, the look on my elder brothers face slammed me in the head with the realization that I had broken one of our most important rules, never look them in the eye. Lycan are a predatory species, and as most predators do, they see it as a sign of disrespect, a sign of a challenge when you lock gazes with them, especially if you hold it like I just did.

Oh my god.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

I just held the gaze of not only a lycan, but the most important one in this room, in fact, the most important one period. I would be killed. Humans are killed for doing much less, to wolves much lower on the hierarchy. They would torture me, and probably take Isaih too because he was with me. They would have my head on a stick and send it to my home. Oh god, my papa would wake up tommorow without me.

My life was over, I was over. And it would be all my fault.

I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt the cold wetness sliding down my cheeks, I could feel the weight of Isaiah's eyes on me as my shoulders quivered and shook involuntarily. I probably should find myself running away from here, making my way home and praying that the king would forget about the incident. But I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even think with a straight head.

Pitiful isn't it. I am exactly what they all believe me to be. A weak human, one who would crumple under even the slightest bit of pressure. People like me are the reason that the world is the way that it is, the reason we are treated like pitiful cowards, it's because we are. Here, now, holding my older brothers hand like a child, I am nothing but what they want me to be.

That's all I will ever be, right?

When I felt Isiah shaking my shoulders, likely to pull me out of my own head, I peeled my eyes away from the sight of my raggedy shoes, and met Isaiah's own panicked gaze. We all had our fair share of anxiety ridden freak outs, it was normal for us. But not in public, not like this. 
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled the both of us up, letting me lean on him , in the same way the world went quiet just a few moments ago, it reverted into something so obnoxiously loud my ears felt like ringing. What was happening to me?

I felt the same helplessness I had in the alleyway as Isaiah dragged me out of the corridor,  my breathing shallow and labored. The scenery around was a sensory nightmare, what once was a beautiful show of colorful bulbs of flowers was now an overwhelming blur of neons and pastels. Where we were going I had no clue, just somewhere away from the evil eyes of the lycan, away from the crowds and the colors and the noise.

"Eden, listen to me, you need to calm down.  We need to go. Now" Isaih was never the serious one in the family, he had never been stoic or able to have a serious conversation without passing a joke or pun. I love him for that, he was always who I could look at when the world felt endless and sad, but now, as I looked up at him, there wasn't an ounce of humor in his eyes. He was terrified, all because of me. Because of what I did.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I shouldn't have- I'm sorry" I found myself squeezing his hand, now much more stable on my own two feet. It was like I snapped out of a dream, like foggy glasses had been wiped clear.