"I want to help you."
By telling me to stop humming? By taking away a medicine that makes me so tired I don't have to care about feeling sick at night so I actually get sleep?
Is your understanding of helping taking away what literally helps me? I lost it and yelled at you for telling me my humming is bad for a good reason.
"You aren't feeling well when you hum."
YEAH NO SHIT?? I hum because it's my coping mechanism? Do you want me to hyperventilate and end up in the hospital instead?
And "you can't take that for so long!" I literally don't? You don't even know how often I do but I already have a negative relationship with sleeping do you want to make it worse for me by taking away a medicine I usually take once a week if even because I pull an all nighter otherwise?
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"I want to help you."
But you forbid me to talk to dad because I wrote him after a conversation you brought him into. But you yelled at me and asked me how selfish I could be to not check if I had something I literally told you I probably don't have.
My intention was never to create a fight between you and dad but I wanted him to know my view because I know you. And you would have turned me into the worst person imaginable in front of his eyes.
My intention wasn't to be selfish. Lunch was about to be done and I told you how low the odds are I have what you asked of me. I even gave you an option to do it instead of using what you asked of me that didn’t require you needing something from me. Was that wrong?
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"I want to help you."
There are two people that drove me into a hole. And both of them are the reason I live.
One of them was the reason about more than four years ago.
The other was the reason for it last November.
Two people, two times, where I didn't stay clean. But it was a three and a half year difference.
