Chapter 1-secrets

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Lucy's pov
Today was my first day on the job I was a little nervous working with a bunch of cops with the history I have but I've told myself that I'm fine they only one who knows is the captain she was one of the cops that helped me when I escaped, when I clocked in I went to get changed then Zoe came and found me brought me to her office
"So first day Lucy how are you feeling"
"I'm good Zoe I promise and if I'm not I'll take a breath"

"I trust that you will take certain precautions yes"
"Yea I will ok I won't let my TO break me that easily I mean everything I did and went through it won't be easy so why are you so concerned"

"Because I went through pretty great lengths to hide your background so please be careful out there" I just roll my eyes and nod Zoe has become like a mom to me looked out for me when nobody else would when I turned 18 and aged out of the system she let me move in and now we're here

"Got it look I have to go" she nods and lets me go to roll call Grey puts me with Bradford I get the war bags and we do a walk through of the and now we are driving around when suddenly he asks the question

"Why did you become a cop" he looks at me then back at the road
"To help people" I say bf he looks at me again
"No I want the real answer
"That is the real answer-" he stops the car
"I've been shot boot where are we"
"On the corner of Redwood and 15th" he looks surprised

"I didn't think someone as doe eyed as you would respond that well"
"I may be for eyed but I'm not easy to run off so keep them coming Bradford but you won't get anywhere with me so have fun" he nods we go through shift normally then we get to the end of shift and we find our guys that have a warrant out for them and as we're trying to talk to them they start shooting me and Tim instantly fire back and then Tim gets shot

I go around the shop and pull him behind it to give him more cover and then I start shooting agian eventually back up arrives and we have to chase the suspect I get him and arrest him then we go back to the station where Zoe is waiting for me and as soon as she sees me she comes up and pulls me away to her office

"What the hell Zoe"
"Anderson at work got it"
"Fine captain Anderson what the hell"
"If your going to act like a trained killer than I will let everyone know that you are"
"Excuse me"

"I already saw the body cam footage Lucy and it's pretty obvious you've been under fire before you didn't even hesitate to pull out your gun and shoot the guy and you didn't give a second thought as to put Tim in a safe place before firing more rounds so I'm going to ask again what the hell"

"Maybe I'm just a good cop and know what the hell i'm doing and don't threaten me with my past because you may have been there to clean up the mess but you didn't see what they did to me in that room it was awful" thinking about my past makes me tear up she sees this and she lets her face fall a little before looking down at her desk

"I'm sorry I know that was the wrong thing to say but it's true Lucy you were trained to kill and toured to the point we're almost nothing scares you it's actually impossible to get any kind of real emotion out of you and I'm sorry but I'm worried this job might be too much to handle"
"I'm fine you just have to trust me I can do this" she nods I go home and drink tequila until midnight

her bring up my past was fucked up I know why she did it I have to be more careful with the way I am my trauma made me numb it made me feel like I was out of control and I've finally gained some of that control back I can't lose it now I wake up an hour before my alarm nightmare I hate when they happen

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