Turns out I can't stop thinking about it so I'm going to write about it.
When we arrived home last night, I was given a couple hours to myself in my room before Taylor came to see me. I knew what she was going to say before she even said it. This was a conversation about the paparazzi that swarmed us at the park.
I let her sit beside me on my bed as she told me about them.
"I don't like them either, honey, but there's nothing I can do. If there was, they wouldn't exist," she told me in a soft tone. I nodded. "They want anything they can get... pictures, statements from me and people I'm close to, and then they sell it to magazines that then publish false narratives about me."
I thought it over for a few moments and then asked a question I had been wondering about for some time now. "Do you like being famous?"
It seemed to take her aback. For a brief second, I thought I'd asked the wrong question, but she was only thinking of a way to respond. So I leaned into her touch and put my head on her shoulder as I awaited her answer.
"I do. I always have," she said, "but there are days when I wish I was normal like the majority of people. I guess an ideal world would be one where I could share my music with everyone and go on tour but not have to deal with constantly being watched and some people being obsessed with me and news outlets saying horrible things."
I looked up at her but she was staring ahead at the wall.
"I wish my family didn't have to be famous just because I chose it for myself."
That was the most gut-wrenching thing that I've heard Taylor say so far. When put like that, fame feels evil, like some life-sucking force. I remember thinking then that I was decided on whether or not I wanted to be famous someday, but the unfortunate thing is that I might already be famous to a degree. If I'm going to be part of Taylor's family permanently, I will become famous at some point. It's still a scary thought to think about today even after she reassured me last night that her and her team will do everything in their power to protect me from people who are only looking to harm others.
I hope she's right. I have everything riding on that promise. I'm already socially anxious as it is. Being forced into social situations I don't want to be in on the daily may actually make me want to die.
So, Taylor? Please don't let anyone come after me or stalk me or say mean things like I've seen with other celebrities on social media. I don't think I could handle it.
Ok, that was stupid. Nobody better read this diary now.
Wait- JOURNAL! What is wrong with me???
--- --- ---
Yes, I'm back! Let's not jinx it but I might just finish everything that's currently on my profile and call it a day (this will probably take me the rest of the year frankly). We'll see...
YOU ARE READING
Emma-Lou // Taylor Swift Adoption Fic
FanficWhen Taylor's newest addition avoids saying anything to her, she gets her a journal as an alternative. - - - - - Emma-Lou has grown up in a group home since she was little. Although she had it good compared to other kids that had been through the...