𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟒: 𝐓𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐚

••• 𝑹𝒆𝒚𝒂𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒉 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒌 •••

" Suhaana?" I called her while removing my seatbelt but no reply came back. When my eyes found her, I fell quite for a while. She was sleeping peacefully, a small smile on her lips. Her hairs were falling on her forehead and her hands were gripping her bag loosely. I tucked the loose strands behind her ear, taking all of her in. She is so gorgeous, having all the beautiful features that I'm seeing in a woman for the first time. When I'm with her, I don't remember anything. The only thing my eyes see is her. The only thing my ears listens to is her voice. The only thing my heart calls out to is her.

Hesitating for a bit, I brought my hands to her cheeks and caressed the skin beneath her ear, just at the nape of her neck. She unknowingly leaned into my touch and hummed softly. Like my hand was meant to be there. Like it had it's home right there.

How could I stop myself from falling for her? She held so much pain inside her, she zoned out when mom called her baccha, she tells me I care for her and that I deserve it back. I don't know how she does it but it seems she is the only women who knows everything inside me and I don't know how but when she looks at me, I can easily read all the emotions swirling inside her.

The unsaid words, the broken love, the untouched whispers, the dawns and the dusks, the pride and the failures, everything is so evident in her eyes. When she speaks, in just minimum words, she expresses my whole world. It feels like she is all I need. But when I look at her now, I feel like the land waiting to meet the sky, the moon waiting to meet sun, the oceans waiting to meet the raindrops. Anything between us is impossible and still I feel so much when I look at her leaning into my touch. I know we are world apart but when she put her head against my chest earlier, I couldn't help but feel that flutter of my heart and the constant race of it against my rational thoughts.

I never wanted to get married to her but when she walked down that altar, she was the only one I wanted to get married to. I claimed to hate her but when our fingers entangled, I felt like I couldn't ever let her happiness slip through those fingers. I knew she never wanted somebody like me but I still told myself that I was falling for myself. Sometimes I wish I wasn't the man at the end of that altar. I wish it would have been someone she loved. A man who deserved her. A man who could heal her. A man who wasn't so unlovable. Not a man who did not know one thing about love. Not a man who had nothing to give. Not a man who was so hard to love.

" Reyaansh?" My eyes snapped towards her as she shuffled sleepily and opened her eyes, yawning. I quickly retrieved my hands and turned around, taking a deep breath. " Are we at the airport?" She asked as she removed her seatbelt. " We are. I was trying to wake you up from the past fifteen minutes." Yep, I totally was, wasn't I?

She hummed in answer and then there was silence. I calmed myself, calmed all those stupid thoughts and feelings. When I turned around, I found her looking at me already. " What happened?" She asked, her eyes holding the concern that was ridiculous. Concern for me was out of syllabus. I just shook my head and opened the door, getting out of the car. Rubbing my eyes, I quietly rounded the car and opened her door, giving her my hand. She kept her small palm into mine and stepped out carefully. " It's almost fine now, not paining as much." Her words did not reach my ears as I looked at her hands in mine, thinking about all the possibilities I could go through if I really started loving her. Would it be beautiful? Would the ending be happy or disastrous? Would I be able to keep her happy?

The only answer I got at the back of my mind was no, I did not deserve her. She was pure, selfless and everything I have never been. Wasn't that what Moulika said when she walked out through the door of our home? That I was selfish. Isn't that what mom said when I told her that she has been irresponsible towards us? That I was selfish. " Reyaansh?" I felt her hand take their place at my cheeks as she lifted my face. When my eyes met hers, I think she saw it all. All of those things inside me. Or maybe she didn't. But I wish she did. I wish somebody did. " Are you okay?" I nodded silently and threaded my fingers through hers and keeping them at my side. She looked at our hands briefly and then at me but I ignored that look. Taking her bag from the passenger seat, I closed the door and then opened the door of the backseat, taking out the suitcases. " Give one of that to me." She said as I took the last one out. " Are you sure?"