Endings.. why do they matter?
Close enough to the end of the school year which I could call a mystery.. since I haven't got the slightest idea of what could happen to me.. or to us.
I expect the school year to end with the normal graduation, emotional good-byes with fellow classmates, and then I'll instantly move to summer vacation where I'll have the entire vacation to myself.
And when things were starting to feel normal again as I avoided facing the truth about my feelings... you built the courage (actually our friends did) and confessed your feelings to me on that Friday night after our swimming finals.
I didn't know what to feel.. I was happy? Confused? Excited? Scared? Thrilled? I was feeling all of those things at the same time while you professed your feelings in front of the playground and the quiet night.
Being the coward I was, I politely rejected you and explained that I'd prioritise my studies.. so even if I did like you.. I have no other choice but let my studies go first before everything else.
I saw your hopeful face slowly contort into disappointment and hurt.. yet you still managed to form that beautiful smile to hide what you were truly feeling.
Earlier that night, I cried myself to sleep, knowing I've hurt the feelings of the guy I liked just because I was too scared to take a step forward. I was scared of you knowing who I truly am, and how I was as a person, not as your classmate who you admired.
