Rainbows Only Show In The Dark

Stupid Grin

Chapter.1 Stupid Grin

"You never fully know who someone is. You can't; the sands of the past tend to cover up itself, and the future is hazy and full of change; the only thing you will ever know is what is in front of you."

My eyes open, and I sit up suddenly. My breath quickens as I look around, taking in my surroundings. I'm in my bed, in my room. I lie my head back down, and my body feels weak. The sudden adrenaline rush dissipates as suddenly as it came. I close my eyes and wish for sleep to retake my body. I can hear my mother's voice calling me down "Evelyn, breakfast is ready!"

I continue to lie there; I'm not too hungry anyway. I can hear Mom's steps as she walks up the stairs. I stare at the clock on my nightstand as she turns the knob and opens the door. I listen to the seconds tick away, hoping Mom would just go away the same way the seconds seem to; I dont want her to see me like this.

"Hey Hun, it's time to get up; breakfast is ready," she says gently as if talking to a crying child. I guess I need to get up at some time. I act like I have just awakened and throw on a tired smile.

"Hm? Oh, thanks Mom, I'll be down in a second," As I speak, I see her smile. She turns to leave, and I get up when she closes the door. I go to get dressed, so I take off Dad's old jacket, the one that is double the size of me, and I look down at my arms, frowning at the red slash marks, I need to cover that up; I don't want Mom to worry. I go to my closet looking for a sweater, taking out a black sweater with grey stripes, and I take a pair of white sweatpants out of the dresser. I head into the bathroom, looking into the mirror. The bags under my blue-grey eyes give away how much sleep I had got. I use some light concealer to cover them up and tie my black hair into a quick bun, looking at myself in the mirror again before frowning and leaving, heading back downstairs to my mother, who is waiting at the table. She places a cup of orange juice in front of me as I sit down.

"Hey, I'm going to be at work all day, ok. Please dont stay home all day," She says as she pats me on the head.

"Ok Mom, I won't," I say, looking down at my food. "I love you."

"I love you too, Evelyn" " she says as she walks out the door. A couple of minuets after she had left, I dump the plate into a small Tupperware, place it in the fridge, and go to the couch. I take out my phone and connect my headphones, playing music to try and pass the day away. As I went to close my phone my finger hovers over the messaging app. I click on it knowingthis will lead me no where good. I scroll to the bottom and hover over the photo of my father and I staring at it "I miss you" I say mostly to myself clicking on the image. I reread the last message he had sent me "I'm sorry" I stare at the message, as if I'm waiting for another responce, I start to scroll through our messages looking for a reason for why he left us like this... The memories of him seem to hit me in the face as tears start forming at the corners of my eyes, I stop at a message I had sent him three years ago.

"I Hate you" it read... Why did I send that? Why would I say that! I don't even remember now... My eyes begin to blur from the tears and I throw my phone across the room. I fucking hate this phone... I bring my legs to my chest and curl up into the couch hoping it will eat me up and never spit me out, I just want to disappear. I want to be left alone. I lay there for what feels like hours listening to it chime from phone calls but I do not wanna touch that stupid thing... But... What if it's Mom? Shit! I rush to pick up the phone, 8 missed calls from Mom... Ugh! I'm so stupid! I click on the notification and call mom back. I sit for less then a few seconds before she picks up.

"Hey evelyn! Sorry to wake you but could you run to grocery store for me?" She says, she sounds tired already...

"Yeah, um, of course Mom, dont worry about it, what do you need me to get?" I ask her, failing at covering up my quivering voice.

"I just need some canned goods for tonights dinner and pick yourself up something while your there ok?" Her voice becomes that gentle pity she typically uses on me... She noticed.

"Yes mom" I say, with a sigh.

"Thank you evelyn"

"Of course" I Hang up the phone and look at it, luckily the are no cracks. I shove it into my pocket and walk into the kitchen to see exactly what we need. I look into the cabnet and its full. I gues I'll just grab one more of everything? Mom must just be tired. I look out the window and see that is raining . I grab an umbrella and my purse heading out the door. I press play on my music and start the walk. As the rain falls around me and the music plays in my ears i let my my slip into this river of thought. I think about my mother and how I need to take care of her, how I know that I'll be alone for ever, I know that right now a car could slip off the road and hit me, Im not thinking that I want it to, but I know would'nt stop it, I know that Mom would feel like it was her fault and I know that my pain would end. But I can't let that happen not until Mom is ok again. So for now I must keep this pain to myself... As my thoughts distract me from the walk I feel my foot hit something and the next thing I know my face is sitting in a puddle next to the steps of an apartment. Great... I get up and wipe my face off and take off my headphones to dry them off, don't want these things to break... I hear some one yell out from one of the balconies "Hey! You ok Down there?"

I look up and see one of the girls from school, Her blue eyes somewhat covered by her brown hair, For some reason she had bows tied into her hair, almost kinda cute. I wave my hand to say that I'm ok and she heads back inside. I pick up my umbrella and as I start to head back in the direction of the store and put my headphones on I see something pink from the corner of my eyes, I turn and it's the girl from the balcony.

"You need a towel or anything?" She asks.

"Hm? No I'm fine," I say waiting for her to go away.

"Ok!" She smiles " Where you heading?"

"I'm going to the store," I say as I turn to walk away.

"Is it ok if I go with?" She asks and I stop.

"Why?" I question turning to face her with obvious confusion on my face

" I was going to head that way anyway... and I don't have an umbrella of my own." She awkwardly taps her fingers together

" I guess..." I say as I hold my umbrella a little farther from myself to let her under

"Yay!" She exclaims with a stupid little smile.

I put my music back on and begin to walk and I can see her rambling on and after a couple of minuets she taps me on the shoulder, I take off my headphones and sigh "Yes?" I almost sound annoyed.

"Sorry it's just... Could you hear me?" She asks, tilting her head.

"No," I say then take a deep breath "I apologise, what were you saying" If I listen maybe she will leave me alone? I don't know.

"Oh it's alright, I was just saying I'm happy I ran into you I needed to get to the butcher and then I was going to the grocery store" She says all in one breath, Oh my gosh how does her lungs keep up, my brian can barely keep up.

"They sell meat at the grocery store, why don't you just go there?" I ask. I don't really wanna walk her all the way to the butcher.

"Oh, because he always has some good fresh buns from the baker down the road and he shares some with me every Friday, then at the grocery store. John always gives me a free ride to the library and-" She takes a deep breath " Then I go to the gym from there, and after a good work-out my friend Lisa drives me back home."

"It sounds like you have an entire day planned," I say, looking across the road before we cross.

"Do you wanna come with me? I mean if you don't have any plans, which you probably do, sorry for asking-" She doesn't finish her sentence before I interrupt.

" No, I don't have any plans, and sure, I guess I could go with you. I wanna head to the library anyway," I say. It's not that I want to go with her, but a ride to the library doesn't sound bad, I guess... Oh, and there is that stupid grin she has again. Does her face ever get tired?

"So If we are going to spend the day together I think it's only proper I introduce myself then. My Name is Naomi Comet," She Puts her hand out, and I take it, shaking her hand.

"Um, Evelyn. Evelyn Zulema:" Her hands feel smooth, almost like silk. Maybe mom was right, I should get out of the house more... Great, now Mom is going to have a stupid grin too. Uck.