Insufferable

Chapter 27

Hi There

So after months of me being completely and utterly almost virtually non-existence, I'm back. But I wasn't posting anything. I was embarrassed at leaving you guys hanging and sad and angry that I couldn't write and then I got scared. Scared that I lost what I had, I don't know how I can carry on writing this story. But I owe it to you to try. I feel that if I've lost this, this amazing and wonderful book, my ability to write it I don't know if I could bounce back, but then I realized that fear is holding me back. I'm hopeful that I can write again, and finish this book. There are so many places left to explore, I want to share this with you.

So I've managed to muster up the last bit of courage I could. I'm obviously not making any promises here, but I am definitely going to try to write more. After this chapter I will know if I should continue. Only if you think it's worth it.

I hope I can win your trust back, that's something that was important to me and I ruined it.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, it's not much but it's a start.

I just want to say thank you for your words of encouragement and faith in me. I pray that I don't disappoint you.

A special thank you to SALEENAGHALAN, who gave me good advice and a reality check.

Enjoy!!!

xoxoxox

*****

"I'm out of touch,

I'm out of love

I'll pick you up when you're getting down

And out of all these things I've done,

I Think I love you better now..."

Chapter 27

I was surrounded by Alpha Carter, everywhere I went, everything I did.

Every second of every fucking day he was always close by.

I could say it was blissful. But then I'd be lying. Don't get me wrong. He was wonderful. A very attentive mate. Wait. Scratch that, he was a very over protective mate. I couldn't even step outside alone. He had to always be everywhere. He was so... I don't know.

He cuddled with me, kissed my forehead as if to will away my nightmares, made me feel these fuzzy dangerous feelings in my core. Yet this would only be the death of me. I kept telling myself that it was okay to feel, okay to need him like I did. But the question of his sudden change towards me was a constant on my mind. Why now? Why did he care so much now!

We shouldn't be this close, but it wasn't the closeness I needed, it wasn't emotionally and physically intense. It didn't feed my soul. We never talked. We were just.... Around each other. It irritated me to no end, I wanted more. I fucking deserve more. But I could never bring myself to say anything, I hated it but I could never fight it.

I remembered the drug. How it made me feel so happy, so carefree. I didn't care about feelings. Yet I remember it so vividly. Chester had said that it strengthened the mate bond between Alpha Carter and me. It made Alpha Carter see into the darkest parts of me that should have stayed hidden. Even from me. This was so fucked up.

I still had questions:

Why, being the most important of them all.

Why did Chester kidnap me?

Why did Alpha Carter want me now?

Why was I so unhappy?

Why did I feel like a huge part of me was missing?